AL East 2023 Spring Training Forecast Haiku

by Stuart Shea

Baltimore Orioles
July: Orioles
Will refuse to migrate south,
Seeking fall colors.

Boston Red Sox
Yes, every franchise
Is an Evil Empire now.
Game is in its Fall.

New York Yankees
Can the potential
Of overpowering bats
Overpower their age?

Tampa Bay Rays
Lesson of the old:
It takes a genius chef to
Make soup out of straw.

Toronto Blue Jays
An exhaustive search!
Team’s new radio guy is
The TV guy’s son.

 

Classic Falls

by Rajesh C. Oza

The Cubs of 1969:
A season with Hall of Famers,
But an ending not at all divine.

The Indians of 2005:
Chicago’s Pale Hose swept them
Like a beekeeper a beehive.

The Red Sox of 1978:
Bucky Bleepin’ Dent
Kept them from playoff’s gate.

The Blue Jays of 1987:
Many Canadians still mourn
Missing out on baseball’s heaven.

The Phillies of 1964:
“The Phold” phirmly closed
Access to the Fall Classic’s door.

Dr. Oza is a management consultant and facilitates the interpersonal dynamics of MBAs at Stanford University. His novel, Double Play, will be published in 2024 by Chicago’s Third World Press.

Changing the Guard

by James Finn Garner

With apologies to A.A. Milne

They’re changing the guard in th’ American League East,
The Orioles have risen to most from least.
New York and Boston spitting out dirt,
With the Bosox distinctly butt-hurt
Back East.

They’re changing the guard in th’ American League East,
The Orioles have risen to most from least.
The Devil Rays have earned their wild card
But the Blue Jays find hitting terrible hard!
Back East.

They’re changing the guard in th’ American League East,
The Orioles have risen to most from least.
It’s good to see baseball back in Charm City
But we’ll see if the playoffs are nearly as pretty
Back East.

 

Observation So Far

by Stephen Jones

The American League East
Is a self-eating beast
With no team below .500.
And the way these teams go,
As they consume one another,
It does make me wonder:

When the regular season
Is finally over
And the dust has settled,
It’s possible — it just may be —
That the last one on this list
Of baseball carnivores
May still get a wild card berth.

 

This Year’s Departures

by James Finn Garner

The season is done, the jocks are stored
Only two teams are left on the board
Let’s pause now, while for Friday we wait,
And salute the retirements of a few greats.

Pujols hit his 700th for the Cards
And now will have time to work on his yard.

Bosox and Cubs champ Jon Lester
Now is an official hammock tester.

Music lover Kurt Suzuki
Can learn the banjo or bouzouki

After the majors, Ádrian González played on
But after this year, A-Gon done gone.

Melky Cabrera, the man and the myth,
Will star in community theater: “The Melkman Cometh.”

And if anyone’s  looking for J.A. Happ,
He’s out on the patio, taking a nap.