AMERICAN LEAGUE EAST 2009 HAIKU FORECASTS
By Stuart Shea
RAYS
Last year’s fish is cooked.
Singing songs of spring, the team
Trawls for the title.
RED SOX
Dust is in the air.
Dustin is in the infield.
Just get me a cloth.
YANKEES
$300 trillion
And they say they can’t afford
A spare infielder?
BLUE JAYS
Rock and hard place—both
Tough to climb when you work with
Canada dollars.
ORIOLES
When does that new show,
“Waiting for Weiters” come on?
Not quickly enough.
Posted 3/30/09.
J.P. Ricciardi, Toronto’s Pencil-Pushing Party
By Stuart Shea
I.
J.P. Ricciardi, Toronto’s pencil-pushing party,
has a big, big, big, big, mouth.
Adam Dunn’s a hitter (tho J.P. sez he’s a quitter)
And he’s happy hacking homers in the south.
When Ricciardi, on the radio, dissed Dunn to Blue Jay nation,
It came without a thorough explanation.
Canadian guys, from B.C. to P.E.I,
Said, “J.P. must have skipped his medication!”
II.
Now J.P. says the two have talked it all over–
But Dunn says it just isn’t so.
The Jays fired their skipper, but look out, J. The Ripper–
You might be the next one to go.
Posted 6/30/08
Willie, McLaren, and John
By Stuart Shea
Has anybody seen my old pal Willie?
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
The Mets are playing badly, and that surely was not planned.
I turned around and he’s canned.
Anybody here seen John McLaren?
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
Even the rats are deserting Seattle’s ship.
And hiring Jim Riggleman ain’t that hip.
Can anybody here find my friend John Gibbons?
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
His GM is a lunatic, and the Jays look awfully tired.
He might be happy to be fired.
Anybody here know who’ll be next dismissed?
Open season on the skippers.
Is it Buddy Black, or Eric Wedge, or maybe Cecil Cooper
Whose career’s going down the pooper?
Posted 6/20/08
