Browse all poems and songs in the 'Ballparks' Category


Hot Doggerel

by Hilary Barta

Take me out to the ballgame
(at Mega Predatory Capitalism Corp Park)
Take me out to the crowd
(taking selfies, texting their “friends” and checking email)
Buy me some peanuts and crackerjack
(How much? They’re PEANUTS!)
I don’t care if I never get back
(Actually, I do have to work in the morning)
For it’s root, root, root for the home team
(full of spoiled, right-wing millionaires)
If they don’t win, it’s a shame
(There’s always next year)
So it’s one, two, three strikes you’re out at the old ball game!
(now new and “improved” with replay challenges)

 



Expectorations

by the Village Elliott

In honor of Gaylord Perry, whose statue was unveiled at Pac Bell Park on Saturday:

Giant statue of Giant legit,
Cy Young sculptured bronze polished in spit.
Cooperstown ends career,
Hurler started right here:
Gaylord Perry expectorates it.

 



Attention Must Be Paid

by James Finn Garner

Somewhere among the
Kiss Cam, and the
Mascot Race, and the
Find The Bagel Under the Helmet video, and the
Helmet Nachos, and the
Pork-Chop-on-a-Stick, and the
Mandatory seventh inning patriotic song, and the
Salute to the division winners of 15 years ago,

I saw a defensive shift

And I thought,
Wow! How do they know to do that?!?

 



Fall of the House of All-Star Clerihews

Julio Teheran
Loves Duran Duran
But will take a paz
On Yaz.

Yoenis Cespedes
Likes watching “The Apprentice”.
“What I can’t figure out, man,
Is where they found a talking orangutan.”

Marcell Ozuna
Is the big kahuna
In Miami’s centerfield
By Red Groom’s carnival sculpture he’s almost concealed.

Dellin Betances
Took his chances
With a street vendor’s tamales
And is now very solly.

 



Realigned Adjustment

by the Village Elliott

For the McCovey Cove Splash Hit at Pac Bell Park

Two years since last adjusting “Splash Sign”,
Brandon Belt smashed Splash Hit 69.
Since Belt hit 68,
Reckon it’s Brandon’s fate
To splash next one when stars realign.

Visitors have splashed 17 more.
Three foes hit three each, no one’s hit four.
Over half Jints’ number
Off Barry Bond’s lumber–
Quite impressive when smashed splash hits soar.

 

AL East

NL East

Extra Innings

AL Central

NL Central

Poems by Type

AL West

NL West

Heavy Hitters

Copyright 2007 Bardball.