Grandy
by James Finn Garner
Grandy!
No one with a bat is more handy,
With a stance coiled like ribbon candy.
Grandy!
His gait is smooth like aged brandy,
Stretching singles into doubles his modus operandi.
Grandy!
In any outfield, verdant or sandy,
He’ll grab more flies than the Rio Grande.
With five skills at his command, he
Picks up his team like a Starbucks grande.
He could melt the heart of Tristram Shandy.
Man o man, that kid is dandy.
Can’t you tell? I love Grandy!
Posted 8/8/08
On Dontrelle Willis’ Contract
by James Finn Garner
Let’s hope the Tigers didn’t
Shell out big ducats.
They’ll need money to equip
Their catchers with buckets.
Posted 7/7/08
The Tygers
By James Finn Garner
(With abject apologies to William Blake)
Tygers, Tygers, choking bad,
When champeens we thought we had.
What possessed the baseball scribes
To pick you o’er Sox and Tribe?
In Florida, Dombrowski–
Did he smile his work to see?
Aging bats and unproved arms,
With slim pickin’s on the farm.
Why’s Dontrelle in Single A?
Why does Clevlen get to play?
What turned Edgar Renteria
A defense gaffe-eteria?
Who knew, alone, Cabrera
Would revive th’ Dead Ball Era?
Will you become a stalker
If Sheffield gets a walker?
Tygers, Tygers, sucking wind,
We know fate has not been kind.
With Rodney and Zoom-Zoom back–
Watch out! Middle of the pack!
Posted 6/12/08
