Browse all poems and songs in the 'Management' Category


Hot Doggerel

by Hilary Barta

Take me out to the ballgame
(at Mega Predatory Capitalism Corp Park)
Take me out to the crowd
(taking selfies, texting their “friends” and checking email)
Buy me some peanuts and crackerjack
(How much? They’re PEANUTS!)
I don’t care if I never get back
(Actually, I do have to work in the morning)
For it’s root, root, root for the home team
(full of spoiled, right-wing millionaires)
If they don’t win, it’s a shame
(There’s always next year)
So it’s one, two, three strikes you’re out at the old ball game!
(now new and “improved” with replay challenges)

 



Oh, You’ve Got Yourself a No-Trade Clause! (By Dr. T.S. Geisel)

By Stu Shea

You may think you’ve traded me,
For some prospect at Pulaski,
But call my agent–he knows laws.
I have myself a no-trade clause!

I will not go to this new town,
I will not go by air or ground!
You should have asked before you dealt,
Before you tried to swap my pelt,
If I would play for Greeber City,
Feembertown,
Or Veedenvelt.

 



Adjusted Fire Sale

by the Village Elliott

Billy Beane’s yearly trade deadline sale
Causes A’s fans once more to go pale.
Fans know once they adjust,
And new A’s earn their trust,
Players’re traded next year without fail.

 



Future/Pasture

by Stephen Jones

The trade deadline has
Come and gone. The smoke
Of the firesale has cleared.

And it’s hard to believe:
“Pinstripes” and “seller”
In the same sentence.

But for once, the Yankees
Thought of the future,
Not some gaudy names
Soon for the pasture.

At least that’s what I
Tell myself, as I
See this season
Put away, on the shelf.

 



Maddon’s Madness

by Hilary Barta

A pitcher’s job is never done.
When out in left they’ve gotta run
And make a catch against the wall.
Don’t tell me baseball ain’t a ball.

And in a pinch they also hit,
And do the perfect squeeze-play bit.
Joe Maddon thinks outside the box,
His tactics hardly orthodox.

 
Cubs’ try-anything manager Joe Maddon has been at it again. On July 31, pitcher Travis Wood hurled the sixth inning in relief, and Maddon kept him in the game as the left fielder, where he made a sensational catch in the seventh, banging against the wall and the ivy in Wrigley Field. In the twelfth, Maddon had pitcher Jon Lester pinch hit, and Lester laid down a perfect squeeze bunt to bring in the winning run.

AL East

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Extra Innings

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AL West

NL West

Heavy Hitters

Copyright 2007 Bardball.