Browse all poems and songs in the 'Management' Category


Free and Fair Trade

By Stuart Shea

What’s the price
For David Price?
A bowl of rice
With a ton of spice?
A new device
That gives advice?
A pair of dice,
or Heidi Fleiss?
A box of lice
Would not be nice,
and a bunch of mice
Squashed in a vise
Will not entice
A deal for Price.

 



Unctuous Aiken Poem

By Stuart Shea

Houston drafted a pitcher named Aiken
Then said he was damaged, though his elbow ain’t achin’.
No one agreed on appropriate bacon,
Makin’ non-achin’ Aiken’s a special deal-breakin’.

 



Sports Franchise Owners

by Stephen Jones

They’re mental about money.
Win-lose, $ is king.
But truth-be-told,
They’re not so bold
When the cash drawer rings.

Except when their brand
Is elevated,
And its cost is weighed
Against profit, loss
And what tomorrow brings.



Clown Question, Bro

By Stuart Shea

“Does Bryce Harper hustle?”
For what is this bustle?
Why are he and his manager in such a tussle?

“Does Bryce Harper hustle?”
Is he a Jack Russell?
Or is Matt Williams’ brainpan made solely of muscle?

 

Stu’s new book, Wrigley Field: The Long Life and Contentious Times of the Friendly Confines, is available now.  Buy it today!

 



Numbers Game: If 9 Were 7

by Stephen Jones

Alexander Joy Cartwright, club member
Of the old New York Knickerbocker,
Declared 9 innings in 1845 –
Something we still keep alive.

Modern baseball’s inventor –
Tired of game disorder –
Called a dream field to order
When he gaveled “9” the number.

Now stirs a business suggestion:
Make baseball’s 9 a 7.
Why?  Because the game’s too slow,
Because younger fans are “no-show.”

Mr. Cartwright worked with geometry,
Not with something fiduciary.
Since when, he might opine,
Is baseball governed by bottom line?

 

AL East

NL East

Extra Innings

AL Central

NL Central

Poems by Type

AL West

NL West

Heavy Hitters

Copyright 2007 Bardball.