Browse all poems and songs in the 'Management' Category


Requiem for a Bat

By Stuart Shea

The series is over,
And I can’t stand the stench.
The Royals’ best option
Was nailed to the bench.

Sure, MadBum was great,
The best in a clench–
But Yost left his best pinch-hitter
Sitting on the bench.

Salvador Perez broke his knee,
Or at least gave it a wrench,
But Yost wouldn’t replace him
With someone from his bench.

Now Josh Willingham’s retiring,
Unlike Dame Judy Dench.
He ended his career
With his ass on the bench.

 



Game 3 — Royals Shut the Door

by Stephen Jones

Yost let loose his bullpen,
His blue barn of big horses.
Like Ben Hur’s chariot team
They then shut the door
On the Giants’ faces.

 



There is No “I” in “Royals”

by James Finn Garner

Hey, orange Marlins yahoo,
What gives you the right to
Wear something else than powder blue
Sitting where the world sees you?

You need to blend in with the crowd,
Not sit in garments screaming loud.
So you have a stub — think you can
Crimp our genius marketing plan?

To your Fish you think you’re loyal?
Well, here everyone cheers the Royals.
Your defiance makes the brass see red!
This is America, pal, and don’t forget!

 



Wacha-Mole

By Stuart Shea

Matheny hoped for damage control
As each reliever dug a hole.
Choate was awful, Maness ehh,
Rosenthal wild, Martinez bleh.

Who is left to call on, then?
Wacha’s down there, in the pen…
He hasn’t pitched for several weeks,
But nothing’s left that doesn’t leak.

See one problem, cause another–
That’s how bullpens work, my brother.
How to fix this bullpen bleed?
Get a bigger lead.

 



Your Daily Affirmation, from Brad Ausmus

by James Finn Garner

Don’t be glum
Don’t ask why
Albuquerque’s just a 6th inning guy

Don’t you fret
Don’t you worry
After the 7th, we’ll turn to Soria

Don’t lose hope
Just have faith — when
It’s down to one inning, we’ll bring in Nathan

No matter where
Or what or when,
I’m skipper, and would do it all again.

 

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Copyright 2007 Bardball.