Browse all poems and songs in the 'Management' Category


There is No “I” in “Royals”

by James Finn Garner

Hey, orange Marlins yahoo,
What gives you the right to
Wear something else than powder blue
Sitting where the world sees you?

You need to blend in with the crowd,
Not sit in garments screaming loud.
So you have a stub — think you can
Crimp our genius marketing plan?

To your Fish you think you’re loyal?
Well, here everyone cheers the Royals.
Your defiance makes the brass see red!
This is America, pal, and don’t forget!

 



Wacha-Mole

By Stuart Shea

Matheny hoped for damage control
As each reliever dug a hole.
Choate was awful, Maness ehh,
Rosenthal wild, Martinez bleh.

Who is left to call on, then?
Wacha’s down there, in the pen…
He hasn’t pitched for several weeks,
But nothing’s left that doesn’t leak.

See one problem, cause another–
That’s how bullpens work, my brother.
How to fix this bullpen bleed?
Get a bigger lead.

 



Your Daily Affirmation, from Brad Ausmus

by James Finn Garner

Don’t be glum
Don’t ask why
Albuquerque’s just a 6th inning guy

Don’t you fret
Don’t you worry
After the 7th, we’ll turn to Soria

Don’t lose hope
Just have faith — when
It’s down to one inning, we’ll bring in Nathan

No matter where
Or what or when,
I’m skipper, and would do it all again.

 



No Tears Here

by Joshua Roth

After 57 years of mourning and booze,
I’m still elated to see L.A. lose.
No heroics. No ninth inning rally.
I’ll hate you forever –Walter O’Malley.

Hahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

 



The Blanking Tygers

by James Finn Garner

Tygers, Tygers, slinking low,
Humbled by the sailing O’s,
What makeup will yours be now
If Max and V-Mart take their bows?

We scarce knew you through this year
with superstars bought so dear.
With Triple Crowns and Cy Youngs
The faithful still bit their tongues.

What staff ace learns yet in May
He must recast how to play?
Which outfielder is there that
Can deftly wield both glove ‘n bat?

What cast of manager says,
“Pinch hit? Call Hernan Perez!”
And what manner of bullpen
Features Joba Chamberlain????

Tygers, Tygers, slinking low,
All these questions we would know,
Plus the reason for the fact
Ausmus has a long contract.

 

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Copyright 2007 Bardball.