Browse all poems and songs in the 'Management' Category


Disparate Thoughts

by Jim Siergey

Did Vida Blue
ever pitch to
Dick Brown?

Did Bill White
ever fight
with Bud Black?

Was Dallas Green
ever mean
to Tyler Houston?

Did Mike Trout
ever dine out
with Tim Salmon?

Did Martinez, Carmelo
ever have Mark Lemongello
for dessert?

 



Tainted Bud

by the Village Elliott

Once the Hall was for those who were studs
Whose names were not dragged through the mud.
Seems no longer the case
With Bud Selig in place,
Sets new precedent with tainted Bud.

 



That Gallant Pirate Crew

by James Francis Burke

From the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, October 16, 1925, when the Pirates vanquished the Senators after being down 3-1 in the World Series.

Were it not for Prohibition,
Which has made the country dry,
I’d fill a wine glass brimming
And lift it toward the sky
And drink a royal bumper —
In fact, I’d make it two —
To good old Bill McKechnie
And his gallant Pirate crew.

But wine is gone forever —
At least, that’s what I hear,
And hence a thirsty poet
Can only stand and cheer
For those whose names are written
‘Mid the skies eternal blue:
The names of Barney Dreyfus
And his gallant Pirate crew.

The Capital’s in mourning,
But the nation’s all arrayed
In the colors of the rainbow
Whose bright hues never fade.
For the Buccaneers are victors —
One can hardly think it’s true —
So here’s to Bill and Barney
And their gallant Pirate crew.

The dear old slow Potomac’s
Filled with tears from shore to shore;
The stately public buildings
Have crepe on every door;
While diplomats and statesmen
Have nothing left to do
But envy good old Pittsburgh
And her gallant Pirate crew.

But let’s be fair, my comrades,
And give the “Nats” their due:
They played the game like heroes,
Like sportsmen good and true.
And here’s a fan’s confession,
A tip twixt me and you:
It was not summer picnic
For our gallant Pirate crew.

 



Upward Immobility in Motown

by James Finn Garner

As another season
Bites the dust,
What will it take to
Fire Brad Ausmus?

A filthy striptease on the airport bus?
Kicking Trammell in the truss?
Wiping his ass with pizza in disgust?
Cussing out John Wockenfuss?

I fear there is nothing
More to discuss–
The Tigers will never, ever
Fire Brad Ausmus.

 



All-Star Clerihews, Part I

Tito Francona
Is a bona
Fide baseball Einstein.
We hope real soon he’ll be feeling fine.

Alex Wood
Pitches so good
He can play in-
Stead of the injured Clayton.

Jonathan Schoop
Is no dope–
For Miami, bought sunscreen
And some Word Search magazines.

Miguel Sano
Bit into a poblano
And let out a roar
Due to a cold sore.

 

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