Browse all poems and songs in the 'Scandals' Category


Game 1 – The World Series

by Stephen Jones

The KC Royals got drubbed at home.
Seems the umpire wouldn’t give’em a bone.
Strikes became balls or, as they say,
A quarter of the plate was taken away.
Game 1 of the Series is now history,
But that’s what they’re arguing in KC.

 



Your Daily Affirmation, from Brad Ausmus

by James Finn Garner

Don’t be glum
Don’t ask why
Albuquerque’s just a 6th inning guy

Don’t you fret
Don’t you worry
After the 7th, we’ll turn to Soria

Don’t lose hope
Just have faith — when
It’s down to one inning, we’ll bring in Nathan

No matter where
Or what or when,
I’m skipper, and would do it all again.

 



To the Fans: What Do You Want?

by Stephen Jones

“It seems all the offense has gone away
From the games of this October play.”
Fans—you may voice dissatisfaction,
But your recall?  Less than perfection.

You don’t go clamor to the MLB:
“Get rid of steroids—now—1, 2, 3,”
And then, irate, turn to complain
When you get a low-scoring game.

The long-ball, tape-measure circus is done –
And for the most part, its PEDs gone –
But maybe suffocating pitching’s the reason
For all the goose eggs this playoff season.

Whatever else, it’s worth repeating:
You can’t have it both ways this playoff season.

 



Regular Season Post-Mortem, or a Toast to Stories Departed

By Stuart Shea

10 Teams Continue,
20 Teams Done.
Stories we have followed
Now consigned to history–
Into the pages of a book
That has been replaced by a web site.

Jose Abreu’s rookie season is over.
Corey Kluber’s ass-kicking year is over.
Phillip Hughes’ breakout is over.
Charlie Blackmon’s beard is over.
Kirk Gibson is VERY over.
But the damage done by Kevin Towers’ trades is just beginning.
Altuve’s wonderful year is over.
The Rangers’ long march of injuries is over…
But the Wash Era is also over.

Everth Cabrera’s honeymoon is over.
Marcus Stroman’s debut is over.
The painful Jay Bruce year is over.
Brock Holt Mania! is over.
Another King Felix masterwork is over.
Giancarlo’s monster season is over.
Jonathan Lucroy’s emergence is over.
The Braves’ painful swan dive is over.
Mesoraco’s breakout is over.
The struggles of Springer are over.
The weird Joe Mauer year is over.
Justin Smoak’s chance is over.
Another frustrating Rockies season is over.
The Chase Headley Padres are over.
The Papelbon crap is over,
But the Phillies’ country club continues.

The Frank Wren Era is over.
Colby Rasmus in Toronto is REALLY over.
Desmond Jennings’ honeymoon is over.
Heath Bell seems over.
The Cubs on WGN are over.
Bobby Abreu is over.
Josh Willingham is over.
Carlos Beltran sure looks over.
Can Kevin Gregg please be over?
Jason Giambi is finally over, right?
The 2013 World Champs are really over.
Is Ron Roenicke’s time over?
The Mets’ sexual harassment suit is NOT over.
Wrigley Field as we knew it is over.
Paul Konerko is over.
Derek Jeter is over.
20 Teams are over.



Pathetic Athletics

by Jim Siergey

I pity the fans of Oakland
Now known as the city of Chokeland
.    Those tumbling A’s
.    Are humbled and dazed
Time to chill out and just take a toke, man

 

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Copyright 2007 Bardball.