Browse all poems and songs in the 'Scandals' Category


Unctuous Aiken Poem

By Stuart Shea

Houston drafted a pitcher named Aiken
Then said he was damaged, though his elbow ain’t achin’.
No one agreed on appropriate bacon,
Makin’ non-achin’ Aiken’s a special deal-breakin’.

 



“Joyce & Gallarraga” by Dan Bern and Common Rotation

Recorded at the Baseball Hall of Fame, July 4, 2012



Clown Question, Bro

By Stuart Shea

“Does Bryce Harper hustle?”
For what is this bustle?
Why are he and his manager in such a tussle?

“Does Bryce Harper hustle?”
Is he a Jack Russell?
Or is Matt Williams’ brainpan made solely of muscle?

 

Stu’s new book, Wrigley Field: The Long Life and Contentious Times of the Friendly Confines, is available now.  Buy it today!

 



Tar Search

by Michael X. Ferraro

Was that stuff on Pineda’s neck
helping him pitch like the Eck?
The Red Sox requested
that it be ump-tested,
Now he’s out 10 games, plus a check.

 



To Mike Francesa and Boomer Esiason–with no love

By Stuart Shea

If we let newborns have time with dads,
They’ll never develop the requisite ‘nads

To preside on AM radio courts
About how these softies are wrecking sports

By bringing in stuff like “love” and “hope”
To an audience raised on slackjawed dopes.

 

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Copyright 2007 Bardball.