by Hilary Barta
There’s the throw that should not have been thrown
And the pop up that dropped like a stone
Though they’re pros, both the Birds
And the Hose have laid turds
And have shown they’re to sloppiness prone.
by Hilary Barta
Ryan Dempster, at A-Rod, took aim
To indent the Yank player, or maim?
The low blow had a cost
For the thrower had lost,
Through contempt or through anger, the game.
Your required daily reading should include Hilary’s monster and noir limerick site, LimerWrecks. Go now. Go, I said.
by James Finn Garner
We know he’s a massive tool, Ryan.
At the same time, don’t be trying
To plunk A-Rod in the buttocks
To serve some greater sense of Justice.
He’s still the league’s sacrificial goat
And will surely miss the Hall of Fame vote,
A pitiable man whom no one will pity,
The most loathed non-pol in New York City.
We get it, you’re mad, but don’t be a punk.
You won’t become Batman in one single plunk.
And if it takes you five pitches to nail that poor schlub,
You’re just showing the world you’re still a Cub.
By Stuart Shea
He’s not as bad as the Black Sox,
Is A-Rod, no matter the spin.
He may be a fool, a doper, a jag,
But at least he was trying to win.
by Stephen Jones
In this tired story fueled, it seems,
by personal and institutional greed,
will suspension clear the smoke?
HGH and PEDs, the fiery secret
formula lurking hidden in MLB . . . then
one astute comment is its equation:
“Average talent becomes good,
good talent becomes great, and
great talent reaches the Hall of Fame.”
(In the past, the tightrope dance between
denial and admission seemed to mirror baseball -
where business often outweighed the game.)
But not this time: the list of the alleged is
too long, the evidence too compelling. MLB
will clean house, Selig will have his legacy.
To note: Braun may get his money, so may
others to be named. But Hall of Fame status
is unreachable . . . and no asterisk need apply.