by James Finn Garner
Hey, orange Marlins yahoo,
What gives you the right to
Wear something else than powder blue
Sitting where the world sees you?
You need to blend in with the crowd,
Not sit in garments screaming loud.
So you have a stub — think you can
Crimp our genius marketing plan?
To your Fish you think you’re loyal?
Well, here everyone cheers the Royals.
Your defiance makes the brass see red!
This is America, pal, and don’t forget!
by Stephen Jones
The KC Royals got drubbed at home.
Seems the umpire wouldn’t give’em a bone.
Strikes became balls or, as they say,
A quarter of the plate was taken away.
Game 1 of the Series is now history,
But that’s what they’re arguing in KC.
by Jim U-Boat, the Poet Laureate of Calumet City
In honor of the 106th anniversary Tuesday of the last Cubs World Series victory.
Before you all blow
Your hard-worked-for dough
On dumb, next-year-we’ll-win theories,
I’ll remind you again
Of how long it’s been
Since the Cubs have won the World Series.
It’s 106 years!
And oceans of tears
Since Cub players were rightly called greats.
We’re now 10 decades hence,
From our country of 47 states.
There were no CDs,
TVs, or LPs;
Eight years before stainless steel;
Reagan hadn’t been born
Of Illinois corn;
A score before the New Deal.
When the Cubs last decided
Without being chided
To win (back then they were ready),
The White House’s star
Was not FDR –
It was his ol’ cousin Teddy.
Cub fans should wean
Themselves off a team
That’s “0-for” since 1908,
But these masochists
Will always exist
While others, in turn, celebrate.
by Stephen Jones
“It seems all the offense has gone away
From the games of this October play.”
Fans—you may voice dissatisfaction,
But your recall? Less than perfection.
You don’t go clamor to the MLB:
“Get rid of steroids—now—1, 2, 3,”
And then, irate, turn to complain
When you get a low-scoring game.
The long-ball, tape-measure circus is done –
And for the most part, its PEDs gone –
But maybe suffocating pitching’s the reason
For all the goose eggs this playoff season.
Whatever else, it’s worth repeating:
You can’t have it both ways this playoff season.
by Jim Siergey
The Series, according to Hoyle,
should not contain Giant or Royal.
No “Wild Card” should be
in this pageantry–
to baseball tradition I’m loyal!
Jim Siergey can often be found in the electronic pages of The Third City.