Browse all poems and songs in the 'Fans' Category


Sgt. Pepper’s 2015 Forecast: “Being for the Benefit of Mister I”

by James Finn Garner

For the benefit of Mister I
The Tiges will give another try
At a Series ring
In the race four times before
Then they’re always shown the door
Damn, it stings

.     But with Cabrera and two Martinez
.     The hits should still be raining in Motown
.     If God wills, Alex Avila doesn’t get hurt

Yeah, Max Scherzer hit the road
The Nationals can bear that load
(He will be missed)
David Price might have the stuff
But does the bullpen have enough?
Let’s check the list:

.     Phil Coke is gone, and Rick Porcello,
.     Which leaves Soria, Albuquerque and Nathan
.     Climbing higher? Dumpster fire? Who the hell knows?

Castellanos will be there
We’ll marvel at Cespedes’ flair
In center field
Ian Kinsler leaps and spins
Let’s hope Iglesias’ pins
Have really healed

.     Twisting the government ’round his fingers
.     Is not enough for Detroit’s pizza king
.     Which is why Mister I keeps spending his dough….

 



Sgt. Pepper’s 2015 Forecast: Intro

by Stuart Shea

It was 17 years ago today
The home run chase seemed to save the day
But the numbers weren’t what they seemed
Neither Sosa nor McGwire were clean

Here’s regime change for you (if anybody really cares)
Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling Drug-Test Crew!

(skin flute solos)

We’re Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling Drug-Test Crew
Now come and pee into this cup
Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling Drug-Test Crew
Our game is on the up-and-up

Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling
Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling
Sgt. Manfred’s Smiling Drug-Test Crew

It’s wonderful to be clean
It gives us such a thrill
To know we’ve purged the game of drugs
Except, of course, for adderall
And liquor pays our bills!

I don’t really want to stop the game
But I’d like to make a little claim
What will happen, can you deduce,
When they legalize a “drug of abuse”?

Have you thought about what that will mean
When 300 million folks ain’t “clean”
Like Sgt. Manfred’s smiling Drug-Test crew?

 

 



Brewer ? 2015

by Doug Fahrendorff

Questions abound
For the Brewers this spring
Braun’s thumb
Lind’s back
Segura’s hitting
Can Scooter hit lefties
Replacing Gallardo
The bullpen
Will Ramirez have
A productive final year
While questions are numerous
Answers are elusive
With no panacea in sight
Even longtime Brewer fans
Begin the season
With muted optimism

 



Some and Then Some

by Millie Bovich

Some managers spit pumpkin seeds in innings bad or fine,
Some managers come out to chat and won’t step on a line.

Some hitters crowd the batter’s box and twirl their bats on high,
Some batters take a too-close pitch and watch the beaut go by.

Some batters readjust their gloves, then readjust once more,
Then smack the whirling sphere into the parking lot next door.

Some fans will smother up their dogs, while some will eat them plain.
Some fans will watch in blazing sun, some gladly sit in rain.

Some fans will need a beer or three to quench a burning thirst.
Some runners just drink Gatorade when they slide into first.

Some pitchers work a snail’s pace and roam around the mound,
Then wind and throw a perfect strike that makes a sizzling sound.

Some unexpected umpire call will cause the fans to yell
That the authority in question should find his way to hell.

Some rookie out in center field will punch his well worn glove,
Then make a catch spectac’lar that the fans in stands will love.

Some fans will make excuses just to be there Opening Day.
It’s spring again, and time to watch the “boys of summer” play!

And the Tigers’ Ernie Harwell would begin the year the same
With a quote we’ve heard a thousand times before he starts the game.

“The Rose of Sharon blooms again”, ’cause spring is something grand,
“And the voice of the turtle will be heard in the land.”
.

Millie Bovich may be the oldest fan and contributor to Bardball. “I had the pleasure of meeting  All-Star Johnny Pesky when he visited the Detroit office of the FBI where I worked,” she writes, “and met and married a special agent from New York and made a Tigers fan out of him!”



Observation

by Stephen Jones

Item: MLB and MTV
Tries to create something glitzy—

A “field of dreams” designed to lure,
Fusing the game with pop culture.

If baseball wants the 12-34 fan,
It should think very hard about its brand.

The NBA has King James;
Likewise, football has big names.

Sure, baseball players also score
Big figures at the big-cash drawer,

But when that’s done, who remembers
The names, faces—or even numbers?

Where are baseball’s market tags—
The “somethings” of which it brags?

Baseball may self-tinker with the game,
But what it needs is names of fame.

 

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Copyright 2007 Bardball.