Browse all poems and songs in the 'James Finn Garner' Category


Bob Dylan’s 2017 Forecast: “My Come Back Pages”

by James Finn Garner

Pinstripe flameouts through the years
As the vet’rans cashed their checks
Overtime for financiers
Signing A-Rod, CC, Tex
While the promise of the farm hands dimmed
Strapped behind a plow
But we were so much older then
We’re younger than that now

It seems like years since Jeet was here
Young and full of soul
Then money sunk in contracts dear
Dictated players’ roles
Simultaneously at Wilkes-Barre
Prospects stood by, like cows
But we were so much older then
We’re younger than that now

Will they give Gleyber time to grow?
Frazier and Sheffield too?
The Yankees’ patience will wear out
Just like it always do
By June the brass will call them up
Panicking, dropping trou
But we were so much older then
We’re younger than that now

 

 



Bob Dylan’s 2017 Forecast: “Sucking in the Wind”

by James Finn Garner

How many innings must Verlander pitch
to have them destroyed by the pen?
How many times must Miggy get on
to be left on the base by Upton?
How many weeks before Ausmus is canned–
that’s not an “if”, that’s a “when”

The answer, my friend, is 2017
When the Tigers will be sucking in the wind

How many balls will Martinez misjudge
and watch as they roll to the wall?
How many years will poor V-Mart DH
as his trot slows down to a crawl?
How many years must fans grumble and wince
before this team wins in the fall?

The answer, my friend, is 2017
When the Tigers will be sucking in the wind

 



Bob Dylan’s 2017 Forecast: “Edwin from the North Country”

by James Finn Garner

If you’re traveling in the north country fair
Where the winds hit heavy on the fans’ behinds
Remember him for all the hits he had there
Edwin Encarnacion did his time

If you got used to the Jays winning games
By knocking hits and flipping bats
Saunders is gone, and Navarro the same
And Edwin’s now in Cleveland, swatting gnats

I’m a-wondering if he’ll remember them at all
The fans who came to see him play
As they drink and fight and lament
Watching Melvin Upton flail away

If you’re traveling in the north country fair
Where the winds hit heavy on the fans’ behinds
Remember him for all the hits he had there
Edwin Encarnacion did his time

 



Mike “King” Kelly

by James Finn Garner

King Kelly was a man among men
You could tell he was in the pink when,
Charging the base like a crook,
He’d slide with foot hooked–
Immortalized in song, it was then.

 

On this St. Paddy’s Day, we salute King Kelly (1857-94), the son of Irish immigrants who played with the Chicago White Stockings (NL) and the Boston Beaneaters. Among the innovations credited to Kelly are the hit-and-run, catchers backing up first basemen, and the hook slide, which was immortalized in the song “Slide, Kelly, Slide!” 

 



Bob Dylan’s 2017 Forecast: “If Not For Trout”

by James Finn Garner

If not for Trout
The Angels would be a shame
Wouldn’t win a single game
The bottom would drop out
If not for Trout

If not for Trout
Big A would be humdrum
Fans might even watch the Bums
Talk about a drought
If not for Trout

If not for Trout, Pujols would quit
Scioscia would get the heave
Escobar would be hitting the bricks
They’d be lost if not for Steve

If not for Trout
They would be Triple A
Simmons would beg for a trade
A stinking mess throughout
If not for Trout

 

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