Reyes Sits At the Finish Line
By James Finn Garner
When Jose Reyes won the title
it gave us pause to check his mettle.
Which body part did serve him best:
His heart, his biceps, or his ass?
A Long Winter in Twinkie Town
by James Finn Garner
Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau
Had miserable seasons, and so
. The Twins are now heading
. Into future rough sledding
In the land of the ice and the snow.
On the Lack of Any Exciting Division Races
by James Finn Garner
I’ll prob’ly buy some bags of mulch
And mix them in the garden.
Kids’ homework sure could use my touch.
College football’s starting.
The DVDs of “Breaking Bad”,
They won’t watch themselves.
Tomatoes are almost set to can.
The basement needs more shelves.
Cold mornings tell us now it’s fall
But before the snows arrive,
I long for the days when baseball
Lasted six months, not just five.
Marriage on the Rocks with Chisox
by James Finn Garner
Ozzie and Kenny fighting at the Cell
(Throw Greg Walker in as well)
First come shouts,
Then comes snarling,
Then comes Ozzie (finally!) moving to the Marlins.
Ubaldo Ambition
by James Finn Garner
The Indians’ move was U-bold-o
Getting Jimenez away from the Rockies.
Their hot idea might end up cold, though,
If his outings continue so schlocky.
