The Barry Bonds Limerick Trilogy: “Three Strikes and Yer Out!”
by Lou Carlozo
Canto One:
Farewell, Barry Bonds, Mr. Droider!
With a noggin as big as a goiter.
Can you take 30 years
Worth of jailbird jeers
In the prison yard parks where you’ll loiter?
Canto Two:
How many home runs could I pump
If I took 90 shots to my rump?
73 in a season?
It must stand to reason
Ask Barry–that Balco-ball chump.
Canto Three:
If Barry partook of the ‘droids,
It’s a cinch his career is destroyed.
Needles stuck in his ass,
Now he’s in a morass–
Strike three, ’cause the Feds are annoyed.
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The Ho of Fame
by James Finn Garner
If Barry needed any incitement
To confess, now here’s his indictment.
Else, to prison he’ll go
To be someone’s ho,
Where anal rape’s the daily excitement.
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Back in the News
By Doug White
Barry Bonds is back in the news
On CNN, Fox and even “The View”.
Though reporters have hedged
And say “it’s alleged”,
Everyone knows this time he’s through.