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Instant Replay Creates Perfect World

By James Finn Garner

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Now that cameras can detect and correct
Our errors and human frailty,
I call for a replay of

Fidrych talking to the ball,
Reggie hitting in October,
Bob Gibson staring,
Koufax stretching,
Veeck laughing,

DiMaggio’s war years,
And Hank Greenberg’s,

And 1994, which could have saved the Expos,
And spared us the Nationals,

And Cap Anson shutting his damned mouth
And Buck O’Neil playing for the Cubs,
Satchel Paige for the A’s,
And Cool Papa Bell for the Cardinals.

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Posted 5/14/09

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Maple Bat, Maple Bat

By Stuart Shea

Maple bat, Maple bat
Shearing off in two-foot slats.
Spirals through the air, and splat–

Maple bat, Maple bat
Got that fan right in the lat,
Then on the bounce, took out a rat.

Maple bat, Maple bat
Nearly deadly as a gat,
Sharp enough to skin a cat.

Maple bat, Maple bat,
Time to wear a different hat.
Put these weapons in a vat.

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Posted 5/13/09

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No Love for the Losers

by Ryan Gallagher

The Pale Hose play in a town second-fiddle
To a team content to finish in the middle.

World Titles have escaped them
Though their yard, what a gem!

Fans love the Cubs, an inexplicable riddle!

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Posted 5/12/09

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Manny Ramirez: When News Isn’t News

by James Finn Garner

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Erstwhile Dodger savior Manny:
Did we doubt it’d come out like this?
If a story leaked you were a tranny,
The world would maybe feel amiss.

Our revulsion might yet arise
If cameras caught you fondling grannies,
But frankly it’s no big surprise
That juicing’s Manny being Manny.

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Posted 5/11/09

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By The Book

by Sid Yiddish

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Lies that he told,
When he was 18 years old or perhaps it was 17.

“I’d say that was accurate,” Alex Rodriguez told ESPN, when admitting he took steroids.

“No, I didn’t take steroids,” Alex Rodriguez told CBS.

So which answer is it, yes or no?
Is it one or the other, which one can it be?

Say it ain’t so, amigo!

Yet, the Alex Rodriguez version of the word accurate, doesn’t quite feel the same, when it comes to taking the real blame.

Do you think it will really overtly affect his game?

Why not ask his best girl, Madonna
The musical barometer of misconstrued fame, she knows through the public eye, that telling lies doesn’t matter, just as long as the fans don’t notice the old switcheroo, while his handlers silently whitewash the bad in favor of accurately keeping what’s left of his good name.

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For more on Sid Yiddish’s poetry, music and performances, check out his My Space page.

Posted 5/8/09