Ten Little Indians (And Counting)

by James Finn Garner
Ten little Indians–
Contenders every time!
One gets dealt for spending cash,
Now there’s only nine.

Nine little Indians
Playing by the lake.
One’s worth five Dominican catchers.
Now there’s only eight.

Eight little Indians
Hoping they can score.
Half are waived without a claim.
Now there’s only four.

Four little Indians.
At least they have Cliff Lee.
Ooops! Lee’s been swapped to Philly.
Now there’s only three.

Three little Indians
(Not counting Chief Wahoo).
“This is a rebuilding year.”
Now there’s only two.

Two little Indians.
How can they score a run?
One quits to become a fully trained self-employed professional health care technician.
Now there’s only one.

One little Indian.
What an awful pity
If he had to pack his bags
For Oklahoma City.

 Published 8/13/09

Pale Hose Peavy

by James Finn Garner

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Ken Williams wasn’t skeevy
About getting Jake Peavy.

Though he’s got a bum ankle
And his record should rankle,

He’ll spare us the terrors
Of Jose Contreras.

Published 8/11/09

No Matter How Good

by Stu Shea

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No matter how good
Or no matter how much,
We all know that know A-Rod can’t hit in the clutch.

Ignore how he’s gotten
The Yanks out of dutch.
The guys say that A-Rod can’t hit in the clutch.

They’ll wave their statistics
And say such and such,
But we know that A-Rod can’t hit in the clutch.

The radio told us,
And they’ve got the touch.
That’s how we know he can’t hit in the clutch.

All those smart guys can go back
And hide in their hutch.
‘Cause I say that A-Rod can’t hit in the clutch.

Obama is Kenyan!
Health care’s a crutch!
And I know that A-Rod can’t hit in the clutch!

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Stu’s new book, Pink Floyd FAQ, containing everything you’ve ever wanted to know about Pink Floyd, is out now.  Buy it in bookstores or on the web.  Do it.  Now.

Posted 8/10/2009