Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Not much has gone right
For the Brewers this year.
Contenders? Surely you jest!
The hitting and pitching
Have both been erratic,
The fielding far from the best.
Doug Melvin insists
He’s done what he can
To build a contending team
But fans shake their heads.
A division crown
Seems like an impossible dream.
Still all is not lost.
Despite the record,
Things aren’t entirely black.
We may not be winning
But fans can rejoice:
At least Bob Uecker is back!
By Stuart Shea
A sphere spins towards the head.
A comebacker cracks a pitcher’s skull.
The outfield wall claims another body.
A collision takes out two.
A knee snaps.
A labrum tears.
A dream dies.
It’s a violent game.
Sometimes, it’s a shame.
Posted 8/8/10
by David Bellel
The moment you shoot up,
Before you put on your makeup,
I say a little prayer for you.
While Cameron combs your hair, now,
And wondering what bling to wear, now,
I say a little prayer for you.
Forever, forever,
You’ll stay at 599
And I will hate you
Forever, forever,
We’ll watch your decline,
Oh, how I’ll hate you
Together, together,
That’s how it must be
We’re stuck for seven more years with you,
Truly a Yankee tragedy for we.
You can find more of David’s Yankee screeds at his blog, Pseudo-Intellectualism.
Why the media? Why the hype?
Numbers & history already corrupted
The bat the number the coverage
All empty right now
(A story within a story)
And Rodriguez waits for his eclipse
Quietly as he should be
More interested in Yankee wins
More important now and ahead
Swinging into September/October
Each Major League skipper is Atlas,
the weight of the world on his back.
While once did he play
with fun teammates each day,
he now must be stern, never lax.
A thousand decisions each game day
await the wise calls of this man,
so time with the guys
sharing jokes and high fives
in the clubhouse would just never stand.
Upon him are so many eyes –
players’, owners’ and writers’ and fans’ –
the stress makes him sour
and his look becomes dour
as he surveys the diamond and plans.
He likes most his time in the shower.
It’s there he escapes for a while
the press of the press
the GM who knows best
and his wife who likes life in high style.
So why does he deal with this mess?
There’s just something about a great quest!
The end of the year
might bring rings, happy tears
and some pride at how well he has guessed.