Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Like Zeus with his shattering bolts
LaRussa’s best batter packs volts
.    Like a powerful god
.    from his towering bod
flows the juice to the bat of Puholz
I’m sure you all know by now that Hilary posts his limericks on monster movies, noir thrillers and comic books every day at LimerWrecks, but I thought I’d remind you all the same.
There once was a Prince from Milwankee
Whose wife gave him no hanky panky
.    I’ll be ready, she said,
.    To take you to bed
When you swing your big bat as a Yankee
Jonathan Eig is the author of Luckiest Man: The Life and Death of Lou Gehrig, Opening Day: The Story of Jackie Robinson’s First Season, and Get Capone, all now out in paperback.
Dearest Mary,
Mine eyes have seen the stresses
of the team far back in June;
of a long goatee brought in to save
but failing far too soon.
Four score and one game makes a half,
and both sides of the all-star break
our men did try their best, yet
good progress they could not make.
Out went McClellan; in came Grant
to help us win the day,
while Sherman (twenty-nine) burned the South
and turned the tide our way.
And now, my dear, I’ve decided that
to bring Cardinal nation together I’ve got
to give command of the ball, at the very end,
to the able Ulysses S. Motte.
Prayerfully yours,
Abe
A Cubs fan laments of Cardinal success,
In the face of Philly’s utter Yankee-ness,
And Arizona’s owner’s militant anti-immigrant mess,
Of Milwaukee’s ties to the Commish’s anti-player caress…
Fans of cursed fate are sad to witness.
It’s been a good year,
And we still have beer.
Prince may be gone,
But our buzz is still on.