New York, London, Paris, Munich
Everybody talk about, mmm….
Pop music, aye, and news and sport
But to Bardball blast, we must retort
From the bleachers, and godly seats
Loving testimonies – and testy tweets Au contraire, in Europe there is but little
Interest – like our economy, entirely brittle
In our excitement, we do refrain
From all small talk of one Ferris Fain
Unknown to us, across the Golden Pond
In our view, his sport just a frond
Of the nascent game we called rounders
Those damn Yankees – cads and bounders!
How would you like to run the O’s?
Round and neat
A team with such potential
Nearly ready to compete
You can earn a pretty penny
With it like so:
O! O! O!
Would you like to run the O’s?
Feathered and so fleet
Ready to contend in the
Wide-open AL East
It’ll cost you just your job
Ernie: My job?
The Salesman: SHHHHHH!
Ernie: (whispering) My job?
The Salesman: Riiiiiiiight!
So take the job and watch the O’s take flight.
Now listen. When you run the O’s, you won’t be alone. All your decisions as GM will have to pass muster with a bunch of front-office yes men that Peter Angelos refuses to fire. That is, when he’s not meddling directly himself. And if you get a name past them, he’ll still have to be approved by Buck Showalter in the dugout, who’s as stable as a three-legged dog most of the time. So you can have a high-profile job with lots of pressure and no power, in the toughest division in baseball, for the most incompetent owner in the game. So tell me….
Would you like to run the O’s?
Take over for Andy McPhail
He couldn’t stand the heat
Now he’s got time to golf and sail
It’ll cost you just your job
Ernie: My job?
The Salesman: SHHHHHH!
Ernie:Â My job?
The Salesman: Riiiiiiiight!
So run the O’s and change them overnight. Did we mention our “proud heritage”?
Just run the O’s and change them overnight. Don’t forget the crab cakes.
So run the O’s and change them overnight.
I’ll never see his like again,
My favourite hitter, Ferris Fain.
In London, Amsterdam and Paris,
They talk of nothing else but Ferris.
He always managed to amaze,
This handsome batsman of the A’s.
In 2002, George Bowering was appointed the first Parliamentary Poet Laureate of Canada. His newest book, The Diamond Alphabet, is now available from BookThug.
This World Series sure done went screwy
with champs being wild card St. Looey
.    Midwest thinks it’s grand
.    but Cubs fans sneer and
collectively catcall, “Ah, Phooey!”
