Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Permissible or not
There seems to be a drought
Of honesty afoot
Pitching maybe-perjury
Clemens seems for once
To be outta his league
His domineering stance
On the mound not found
Now drugs/performance
An arguance
More finger pointing it seems
As ugly truths are exhumed
………………………………………………………………………………..
Chris Davis’s 0-fer-8 night ended in bliss.
Five times did the DH swing-swing-swing and miss.
So, post-platinum sombrero, why the big grin?
‘Cause he tossed two scoreless and picked up the win.
………………………………………………………………………………..
How does a player go 0-for-8
And still win himself the game ball?
Move from DH to the pitching mound
And make major-league hitters look small.
Whiffed Piazza, Harold Baines,
Eric Davis, Hardrock Raines.
Batters swung and bade goodbye,
Carlos Beltran, Russell Dye.
BJ Surhoff, Albert Belle,
Junior Griffey, Pat Burrell.
None of them could solve his tricks.
Then the gods sent Jayson Nix.
Struck out Nomar, Randy Wynn,
Tori Hunter, Tony Gwynn.
Mighty bats would disappear,
Juan Gonzalez, Rusty Greer,
Jeffrey Hammond, Jim Thome,
Julio Franco, Jason Bay.
Silent went their famous sticks.
Then the gods sent Jayson Nix.
At 41, not nearly through,
ERA still under two.
Twelve times in the All-Star game,
Sure bet for the Hall of Fame.
Greatest pitcher still alive,
Could have gone ’till 45.
Who among us saw the fix
When the gods sent Jayson Nix?
Hart Seely’s dangerous book, The Juju Rules, is available now in bookstores and at Amazon.
Check out the rest of their music and support the Isotopes by visiting http://theisotopes.bandcamp.com.
A Brave young slugger,
A two-time VP,
A five-time Gold Glover
Who wore number 3.
A role-model teammate
Without ego or rage,
A clean-living player
In a steroid age.
Two home runs short
Of a trip to the Hall,
His legacy waits
To fly over the wall.
Charles Ghigna (Father Goose) is a poet, children’s author, speaker and nationally syndicated feature writer. He has written more than 60 award-winning books of poetry and been reprinted extensively, even in the ACT and SAT tests.