by Stephen Jones
Safeco perfection
The Mariner’s King Felix
His game historic
Bobby V
By Stuart Shea
Bobby V,
You’re killin’ me!
The Red Sox founder
In August flounder,
And Bobby V,
You’re so angry.
You bait the umps,
You say they’re chumps.
The Red Sox sink,
The rotation stinks,
And Bobby V,
It’s kind of funny.
The Yankees/Kuroda
by Stephen Jones
He shut them down, the Rangers –
a powerhouse lineup of bats –
with split-finger’d sinkers, sliders
& mound presence. He was that:
Seamless with steady outs
pitching quality throughout,
while the Yankee dugout
made it with lineup clout.
Lessons from Professor A.J.
by James Finn Garner
Pierzynski’s older, get that straight
A few more grey hairs on the dome
But if no one bothers to cover the plate
That sonofabitch will steal home.
You may have Cespedes at third–
All over the infield he’ll roam–
But if you don’t keep Pierzynski close, my word!
That sonofabitch will steal home.
Humans can map the vastness of space,
Find Higgs-Boson, map the genome,
But if a player can’t cover his base,
Some sonofabitch will steal home.
Too busy to stay after class?
Here’s the lesson to take from this poem:
Stand around gawking with your thumb up your ass
And that sonofabitch will steal home.
The Exhibitionists
By Jim Siergey
Although tickets cost a steep price
A ball game at Wrigley is nice
But this Cub ball team
To me, it does seem,
Is going through spring training twice
Jim Siergey is a writer, illustrator and creator of, among other things, Cultural Jet Lag, which can be found on his blog here.