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Do the Ichiro!

Do the Ichiro, do the Ichiro!
In his first post-season in Yankee clothes!
Do the Ichiro, do the Ichiro!
He’ll do anything to beat the O’s!

First run around third fast and wide
(Do the Ichiro, do the Ichiro)
Then hunker down like you’re gonna slide
(Do the Ichiro, do the Ichiro)

Then spin out to avoid the tag
(Do the Ichiro, do the Ichiro)
Scoot ’round the plate like a hopped-up crab
(Do the Ichiro, do the Ichiro)

Matt Weiters, you got no chance, mister
(Do the Ichiro, do the Ichiro)
The Ichiro’s part baseball, part Twister!
(Do the Ichiro, do the Ichiro)

Do the Ichiro, do the Ichiro!
Won’t be left on base by his punchless bros!
Do the Ichiro, do the Ichiro!
The Yankees need a ninja or home they go!

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Detroit Tigers 2012

by Bradley A. Peraino

Miggy won the Triple Crown; MVP is no debate.
Prince has also put up big while standing at the plate.
J.V. ‘s up for the Cy Young, his second in two years.
Max has been unhittable, and leaves the field to cheers.

Jackson ran the center field, he never left his feet.
Berry couldn’t be thrown out, he just has too much heat.
Avila caught the balls and strikes, with a little help from Laird.
Peralta and Infante: a decent middle once they’re paired.

Valverde heads the bullpen, with Dotel, Benoit and Coke.
When Alburquerque gets brought in, he’s always throwing smoke.
Dirks has come through in the clutch; he’s this year’s big surprise.
The ball has looked a little big in Delmon’s DH eyes.

The team was led by Leyland, the boss, the chief, the skip.
He guided them through every game, McClendon on his hip.
This awesome baseball season has been brought to us by God,
And almost every play I watched this year was called by Mario and Rod.

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Texas Fold ‘Em

By Stu Shea

In baseball’s Wild Card deck,
An ace can be trumped, by heck.
While expected to win,
They wound up in the bin–
Some Rangers might pay with their necks.

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Chi-Town Breakdown: The Year in Review

by Hilary Barta

‘Cept the shouting, not much to report:
To da sout’, da club just came up short
And up north, a non-story–
More a snore than near glory–
The long drought for the Cubs isn’t sport.

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Chi-Town Just Shy

by Jim Siergey

Last season the Hose were quite pale
with Rios and Dunn batting Braille
But this summer held first
’til their bubble then burst
With not enough wind in their Sale.

Cartoonist Jim Siergey is the author of the strip “Cultural Jet-Lag” and the alt-reality Cubbie book, If They Did It.