Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
On Waveland a pic-screen will top it
The neighbors are sick, but can’t stop it
.     For their sight-line of sport
.     They will fight them in court,
And pray that the Rickett$ will drop it.
Want more Hilary Barta? Who doesn’t? Check out the rest of his limerick output at LimerWrecks.
Jesus Christ: You like him? Honk!
Lindsay Lohan? Fall-down dronk,
Johnny Rotten: Eighties ponk,
Travis Hafner: Our man Pronk!
Kim Kardashian: Kanye’s bonk,
Paris Hilton: What a skonk!
Oscar winner: Hilary Swonk,
Travis Hafner, New York Yonk.
The Cubs have a tycoon named Ricketts
Who just couldn’t sell enough tickets.
.     He threatened he’d leave,
.     Which no one can believe–
Who’d build a new park in the stick-ets?
At 43 he’s ageless . . .
maybe better than he was.
He finished this April as always –
efficiently closing the door.
(In April his pinpoint cutter
made him reach ten for ten.)
He says this is the last year
he’ll be a Yankee closer.
(And how many lefties are relieved
he’s hanging up the buzz saw
which left their bats in splinters?)
One wants him to go on forever –
that’s the lore of baseball –
and he does, The Pinstripe Closer
who never once showed fear.
While Toledo is not Tattooine,
The ‘Hens might dig snowy Hoth’s scene.
.     While you might think it kooky
.     To dress like a Wookiee
I’d love to make Chewbacca’s team.
Here’s the story on the Chewy-inspired uniforms that the Toledo Mud Hens will sport this weekend.