Cubs Lose!

by Jim U-Boat, the Poet Laureate of Calumet City

In honor of the 106th anniversary Tuesday of the last Cubs World Series victory.

Before you all blow
Your hard-worked-for dough
On dumb, next-year-we’ll-win theories,
I’ll remind you again
Of how long it’s been
Since the Cubs have won the World Series.

It’s 106 years!
And oceans of tears
Since Cub players were rightly called greats.
We’re now 10 decades hence,
Nineteen presidents
From our country of 47 states.

There were no CDs,
TVs, or LPs;
Eight years before stainless steel;
Reagan hadn’t been born
Of Illinois corn;
A score before the New Deal.

When the Cubs last decided
Without being chided
To win (back then they were ready),
The White House’s star
Was not FDR —
It was his ol’ cousin Teddy.

Cub fans should wean
Themselves off a team
That’s “0-for” since 1908,
But these masochists
Will always exist
While others, in turn, celebrate.