by James Finn Garner
Per ’70s star Johnny Bench:
Bryce Harper makes my fists clench.
Bat-flipping is naught but a stench.
Batters guilty best stand in a trench
Lest chin music make their necks wrench
And cause the game’s great fans to blench.
To be “old school”, he said, makes a mensch,
Then belched and goosed his serving wench.
My Fool “Old School” Tool
The Village Elliott: 3/22/16
Reckon like Johnny Bench, I’m “Old School,”
Recently I learned I’m an Old Fool;
When I goosed my young wench,
My old back I did wrench,
Wench laughed “Goose your own old withered tool.”
HA! Outstanding.