by Stuart Shea
The bigger they are, the more they hurt…
So Juan Uribe got a just dessert
With a liner in the groin.
And that’s not a roll of coins,
And he’s NOT happy to see you.
From GQ:Â Juan Uribe Has a Very Good Excuse for Not Wearing a Cup
Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
“Wear! Don’t Swear”
For: Juan Uribe
The Village Elliott: 6/16/16
Juan Uribe is one Goysche Kup,
Played the infield, but didn’t wear a cup;
Since cup he’s not wearing,
Instead, he’s now swearing,
“Fucking line drive! I can’t get it up!”
Perhaps the above limerick would be more accurate if, in the second line, “Played the infield” was replaced with “Played hot corner.”
Stuart,
Thanks for the inspiration. You certainly captured the feel of “taking it for the team.” From the title, alone, I felt like I was playing shortstop when my teammate was “cup-checked.” I’ve been there before. Why I rarely played third…or without wearing a cup.
I enjoyed the peace of mind.
Juan Uribe is an inspiration, too ,like his older cousin, Jose, the “ultimate player to be named later.” I’ve been a fan since before he played a significant role in the SF Giants’ 2010 World Championship.
Reckon that’s why the poems keep on pouring out. Like this one:
“Three Balls-One Strike”
For: Juan Uribe
The Village Elliott: 6/16/16
Juan Uribe can no longer shtup,
Played the hot corner without a cup;
No cup he is wearing,
“No Mas!” he is swearing,
“Line-drive-cup-check! Now can’t get it up!”