by Doug Fahrendorff
For the Brewers and their fans
Dreams of a division title
Gone
Wildcard still in play
Six games left
Still work to do
Finish a great season
On a winning note
Hopefully a berth in the playoffs
Wade Waylaid
by Jim Siergey
The Cubbies’ big closer, Wade Davis
Is who they all count on to save us
But the Brew Crew’s assault
His save streak did halt
He changed from a Hertz to an Avis.
Flame Thrower
by Hilary Barta
Keep your eye on Cubs thrower John Lackey
He’s a guy who can go a bit wacky
Neither calm nor collected
He’s a bomb, soon ejected
When, sky high, he’ll be blowing his stacky.
Et Tu, Boog?
by James Finn Garner
Are modern baseballs really juiced?
Or are the players all strong like Moose
(Skowron)? Pure as a Babe (Ruth)
With no chems flowing in the sluice?
Hurlers have the (Vida) Blues
Wondering which pitch to use
But Ks are (Charlie) Spiking, too
Giving all their stats a Goose
(Gossage). So, is the baseball really Boof
(Bonser)? Is someone somewhere getting cues?
Whatever answer you may choose
We’re losing balls over the (Phil) Roof.
Imagined Commentary During a Game
by Stephen Jones
During a game, a commentator —
an ex-ball player — once said:
a manager’s job is hard.
“OK, so you’ve got twenty-five
children in a dugout …
and each one wants to be
treated just so different.
“I mean, it’s hard … I mean,
they all love to play the game,
right? But when you got children,
I mean, grown men who mebbe
“don’t wanna grow up, well,
then the manager’s got to be
part teacher, part mentor …
and also some kind of juggler.
“And all this while skating on thin ice —
dealing with egos and tantrums
and you-name-it?… No, no thank you.
Hey, believe me, I’m glad I got the
“chance to play in big league games —
that’ll never go away — but dealin’
with all that other stuff? No way.”