by Hilary Barta
Goodbye pitches and homers well struck
So long switch-hits and gnome-beards for luck
No more blasts, no more clout
That’s the last, final out
It’s a bitch–but there’s no more Joe Buck.
Series Unction
by Stuart Shea
Everyone has theories
About why this World Series
Is packed with non-stop offense—
“The baseballs are slick
The pitchers can’t stick
Their nails into their surface.”
We know that these hitters
Don’t get the jitters
And can deal with sophisto defense—
They just loft the ball
Right over the wall
And make all the pitchers nerface.