by Michael Ceraolo
I didn’t drink or smoke,
not because I thought they were wrong
but because I wouldn’t let anything affect my hitting
I did play the ponies, usually unsuccessfully;
that didn’t affect my hitting,
though it did affect other parts of my life
I heard later that someone said
I was ahead of my time in being an asshole
I don’t know about that,
though I’m sure there were those
who thought I was an asshole;
I couldn’t care less
I want to amend what I said above
I did let one thing affect my hitting:
having to play in the field
If the designated hitter had been around when I was playing,
there would be no debate about who the greatest hitter of all time was