by James Finn Garner
When your team’s offense ain’t up to par
And sluggishness has gone too far
Tell Triple A you need your new star
.      Lars Nootbaar!
Rejuvenating like a new cute car
Or Celia Cruz shouting “Azucar!”
To batting woes, say au revoir
.     Here’s Lars Nootbaar!
His range is measured by hectare
Strokes his bat like a steel guitar
(Hope he lasts longer than a shooting star)
.      Go, Lars Nootbaar!