A Sonnet for Juan Soto, Who is Not Interested in Your Borderline Strikes

by Kevin Canfield

He’s paid, in a sense, to refrain from swinging
High heat, sliders in the dirt — he will not chase
If off the mark an opponent’s hurler is flinging
He’ll watch four wide ones, then jog to first base

His patience calls to mind a vintage mystic’s
So chill at the plate, get him an iced tea
This ain’t an opinion — just check the statistics
That’s how you earn such a high OBP

Twenty-six now, he’s been like this forever
Doing that shuffle after taking bad pitches
He’s made restraint a lucrative endeavor
Homers and walks — he knows what his niche is

It’s true, his contract’s huge, it’s not even funny,
But have you heard how Steve Cohen made his money?

Kevin Canfield’s work has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post and other publications