Fire Cats

by James Finn Garner

Somebody let the Tigers get hot
No one told Houston the plot
AJ Hinch gave his old squad a swat
Somebody let the Tigers get hot

Now Cleveland’s about to get taught
The summer games might come to naught
Somebody let the Tigers get hot

Whatever team comes down the slot
They still lose when they’ve shot their shot
Somebody let the Tigers get hot

Are these rookies aware what they’ve got?
Any need for vets they forgot
Playing with Red Bull, courage and snot
Youthful spirit means quite a lot
Call them “Tigertown Tots”
And they’ll tie your tongue in a knot
What hath the Ilitches wrought?
Somebody let the Tigers get hot.

MLB All-Autumn-Cozy-Like-Martha-Stewart Team

1B   Canadian Goose Tatum
2B   Pumpsie Spice Green
SS   Luke Caramel Appling
3B   Alex Decorative Gourdon

LF    Tail Gates Brown
CF    Walt “Turtleneck” Williams
RF    Félix Pumpkin Pié

C      Moses Fleecewood Walker

LHP   Cliff Leefpile, Matt S’Moore
RHP   Boof Bonfire, Aaron Rakers

MGR   Hot Cyder Young