Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Zach Grienke’s arm is hinky.
Jake Peavy’s feeling skeevy.
Adam Wainwright’s wing ain’t right.
Rich Harden’s asked for pardon.
Brad Lidge is off a smidge.
That goes ditto for Johnny Cueto.
And an inflamed elbow is causing
Pain for Jason Isringhausen.
Thank God for March,
So these great apes
Have one less month
To fall out of shape.
Winter’s been raw as a campout in Banff.
Your new basement walls are moldy and damp.
Your drapes caught fire from a knocked over lamp—
Relax!
Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.
Your check-writing hand’s developed a cramp,
Your bills are all due and you ain’t got a stamp,
Creditors cling to your neck like a clamp—
Smile!
Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.
Your yard now faces a new freeway ramp.
Your son’s engaged to a gold-digging tramp.
Your “guitar hero” neighbor’s just bought a new amp—
Life is good!
Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.
Reposted 2/17/2012
Is the old term “Hot Stove League” archaic,
When hidden cells photovoltaic
Keep our domiciles warm?
Is old Rockwell the Norm?
Baseball fans like to wax nostalgaic.
Bardball will be active again as Opening Day nears. See you then!!
“Attack of the snow”
And I do labor-
Intensive work against drifts
Against waves of white a whale
Piled against cars trees homes
But don’t call me Ahab
Call me “Claus, Santa Claus”
Shaken like a snow globe
. . . Or stirred
Like a frothy punch or nog
I hunt happiness
‘Thar she blows!
Snowballs icy stars snowflakes
A pod of dreams scattered
North South East West
Call me Claus
Happy Holidays and a championship New Year to all our readers at Bardball!
Ron Santo was one of the greatest Cubs
All-Star with steady glove, you had few flubs
You had fun every day playing the game
How can you not be in the Hall of Fame?