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Thanks To All Our Contributors and Readers !

BARDBALL’s rookie season was an experience that went far beyond our expectations. We’d like to sincerely thank everyone who checked us out, submitted poems, came to the “Poetry Grand Slam” in Chicago, and told their friends about us. Through sheer word-of-mouth, news about us spread all over the globe.

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And Ernie Harwell sent us a lovely note. Ernie. Harwell. Can you dig it?

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BARDBALL will be shutting down for the Hot Stove Season and emerge in Spring Training 2008 with new baseball verse, songs, and parody. We plan on some site improvements that will help us show more than one poem a day (to give the casual browser a chance to catch up) and allow video postings. We’ll also retire the “Barry Bonds Limerick Challenge” and keep an eye out for another juicy scandal to exploit. Other changes are also in the works. So bookmark us and check us out again next spring for the 2008 season.

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So long, everybody! See you at game time!

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James Finn Garner

 

Stu Shea

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All Right, a Few More Limericks to Pile on Barry

The Barry Bonds Limerick Trilogy: “Three Strikes and Yer Out!”

by Lou Carlozo

Canto One:
Farewell, Barry Bonds, Mr. Droider!
With a noggin as big as a goiter.

Can you take 30 years
Worth of jailbird jeers

In the prison yard parks where you’ll loiter?

Canto Two:
How many home runs could I pump
If I took 90 shots to my rump?

73 in a season?
It must stand to reason

Ask Barry–that Balco-ball chump.

Canto Three:
If Barry partook of the ‘droids,
It’s a cinch his career is destroyed.

Needles stuck in his ass,
Now he’s in a morass–

Strike three, ’cause the Feds are annoyed.

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The Ho of Fame

by James Finn Garner

If Barry needed any incitement
To confess, now here’s his indictment.

Else, to prison he’ll go
To be someone’s ho,

Where anal rape’s the daily excitement.

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Back in the News

By Doug White

Barry Bonds is back in the news
On CNN, Fox and even “The View”.

Though reporters have hedged
And say “it’s alleged”,

Everyone knows this time he’s through.