Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
 Statistics required perusal
And then came a full-fledged accusal.
Some numbers do lie
Take a look at the guy,
They’ve proven a B. Bonds bamboozle!
Barry Bonds! He’s the muscle-bound Giant
With the rules, he is just non-compliant.
He comes extra large size
Check his biceps and thighs,
And his manner is somewhat defiant!
Posted 7/30/07Â
by NaryBarry
Barry Bonds is a fearsome home run hitter
Who sends all his fans into quite a twitter.
His manhood has not shrunk
From that steroid junk–
Maybe the judge will be an acquiter.
by James Finn Garner
When Kenny Williams told Maggs
To pack up his bags,
Hinting grit wasn’t one of his talents,
Kenny hadn’t the notion
That he’d set in motion
An era of Motown Magg-nificence.
Magglio got maligned
but later was signed
By Tiger whiz David Dombrowski.
Now he’s hitting like Gehrig,
While the White Sox are staring
over their shoulders, worried ’bout Kansas City.
Posted 7/25/07
by Tara Franey
Should Adam from Milwaukee hit the road?
His prowess hitting baseballs from the park
Might truly cause my heart to overload.
Ah, yet the line ‘twixt fan and foe is stark
And Hark! Cry those who wish to see him gone:
“He strikes out often and he is not clutch!”
But others here in Redsville are quite fond
Of walks and pitches seen and that nonesuch
Formidable – that bat – when he’s afire,
But in the field is where he fares the worst.
His salary is high and growing high’r
And give him an extension, no one durst.
The fate of Adam Dunn I do not know,
But if he leaves, I’ll mourn to see him go.
A decade now of losing woes,
Of succumbing to the AL foes.
Ten long years of losing flings
As other teams collect their rings.
Since the glory days of Frank and Brooks,
When Palmer induced those nervous looks,
When Ripken played without much rest,
Before Palmeiro failed his test,
When Boog was more than BBQ’s,
Before the Yankees stole our Moose,
Back when Brady hit 50 dingers–
The memory of it barely lingers.
We still watch and hope and pray
That the Orioles will succeed someday,
That they will hit a winning stride
And let their fans feel joy and pride,
But for now we watch games rarely pleasin’,
And say, “At least there’s football season.”
Posted 7/23/07