By Doug White
There once was a pitcher named Snell
Who didn’t throw particularly well.
When he hung a curve too high,
David Ross let it fly,
Then the hurler gave the poor ballpark hell.
On The Cubs’ Bullpen
by Stu Shea
Some folks take a pill for relief,
But Piniella’s relief
Makes him feel like a pill.
When Howry and Eyre let it loose,
Sweet Lou turns chartreuse
When he looks toward the hill.
It’s just a bad Ohman to see
The rookie, Cherry,
Looking in for the sign.
They’re going from bad to Wuertz,
And watching them hurts
With the game on the line.
Pirates’ Lament
By Stu Shea
The high seas ain’t what they used to be.
We used to have Willie,
And Bobby Clemente,
And Bobby Bo, Andy, Jim Leyland, and Barry.
Now we have Nady,
And Tom Gorzelanny.
Barry Bonds #2
by James Finn Garner
A colossal slugger named Barry
Had an outlook cheerful and merry,
Til you ask if his muscles
Come from workout room hustle,
Then he’ll threaten to rip your arms off and shove them up your ass because you’re always picking on him.
Barry Bonds #1
by James Finn Garner
Barry Bonds put himself to the test,
To beat Babe Ruth’s tally his quest.
To be home run king,
He would try anything.
So what if he grew some huge breasts?