Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Leaving Atlanta for the suburbs,
Swimming upriver like the other turds,
A bad team with no personality
And a logo strictly for the birds.
A dumb manager and no GM,
Folding down the stretch again,
Stuck with Chip Caray on the mike
And a press corps of yes-men,
Once this was America’s team,
Murphy, Maddux, Glavine, even Bream,
They’ll be sitting at home this October,
And don’t it make you wanna let out a
Big
Happy
Scream?
Jake’s pretty tough–
He has no-hit stuff
Each time he goes out to play.
It’s hard to countenance,
But giving him a chance
Just wasn’t the Oriole way.
Do the Milwaukee Brewers
Belong in the sewers?
When beer goes flat
It’s done, like that.
Their April divine,
The summer just fine,
But when it’s a crunch,
The team’s gone to lunch.
Not to be nosey,
Buster Posey,
But what has taken so long
For your bat to shower
The Giants with power?
I miss that “Bye Bye, Baby” song!
Now that he’s leading the Diamondbacks,
Tony LaRussa had better make tracks.
Get rid of the manager, GM, and crew,
Blow up the caravan and start something new.
Bring in some analysts, give fans a shock,
Keep Phoenix from fielding a laughing stock.
(There’s already enough in AZ for comedy–
Sheriff Joe, desert sprawl, gated communities.)
Not that I’m suggesting anything rash,
But Kirk and Kevin belong in the trash.