By Stuart Shea
The Cubs have the buzz
For all their young players
Approaching the mark,
But aren’t out of the dark–
Their best catch of the year
Came from a fan
Snagging a ball
Hit out of the park.
“Now Stinking for the Phillies…”
By Stuart Shea
Darin Ruf ain’t got the stuff,
And Ryan Howard’s no longer powered.
Ben Revere has value unclear,
And there’s little regard fo’ Antonio Bastardo.
Pity Dominic Brown, whose average is down,
And Cody Asche, who is far from flashy.
Even Cliff Lee and Carlos Ruiz
Are suffering from the same disease.
So who’s the chiff of this team of stiffs?
Ruben Ameero, who seems like a zero.
OBUP (On-Base Unction Percentage)
By Stuart Shea
Given that Denard
is the on-base-streak man,
Should we now call such a string
A “Denard” span?
Dead Tradeline in Kansas City
By Stuart Shea
The Royals don’t think that they’re winners,
The Royals don’t think they’re beginners.
They won’t buy and won’t sell,
Which may be just as well
If they want to remain others’ dinners.
Free and Fair Trade
By Stuart Shea
What’s the price
For David Price?
A bowl of rice
With a ton of spice?
A new device
That gives advice?
A pair of dice,
or Heidi Fleiss?
A box of lice
Would not be nice,
and a bunch of mice
Squashed in a vise
Will not entice
A deal for Price.