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2012 NL Central Prediction Haikus

By Stuart Shea

CHICAGO CUBS
Behold the savior!
He slouches toward Wrigleyville
And shops at J. Crew.

CINCINNATI REDS
Scott’s Rolen along
At least as much as one “rolls”
On two rusty wheels.

HOUSTON ASTROS
In a great big barn
The inhabitants will smell…
25 heifers

MILWAUKEE BREWERS
The abdication
Means the Milwaukee lineup
Will welcome the Mat.

PITTSBURGH PIRATES
Pretty park, green grass,
Lovely statue, tasty beer,
Clint Barmes at short

ST. LOUIS CARDINALS
Elders leave the grounds,
Leaving the young ones to play
The eternal game.

 

 

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2012 NL East Prediction Haiku

by Stuart Shea

ATLANTA BRAVES
So many moons past…
The spring of Chipper gives way
To rust and pallor

MIAMI MARLINS
New house and new name
Young folks up til all hours
The Blizzard of Ozz

NEW YORK METS
They built this Citi.
Now they have to live in it
Short fences or not

PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES
At the keystone sack
Nothing but questions surface
In this pennant Chase

WASHINGTON NATIONALS
Message from the East—
“Beware high expectations”
Tapped out in Morse code

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2012 AL West Prediction Haiku

By Stuart Shea

LOS ANGELES ANGELS OF ANAHEIM ETC.
Albert doesn’t want
Us to call him “The Man,” so
Let’s call him “The Bank.”

OAKLAND ATHLETICS
Manny is Manny.
Elderly is elderly.
Money is wasted.

SEATTLE MARINERS
The only thing worse
Than hitting Ichiro first
Is hitting him third

TEXAS RANGERS
Media outrage
Over Josh Hamilton’s life?
A pile of cow turds

Posted on

2012 AL Central Prediction Haiku

By Stuart Shea

CHICAGO WHITE SOX
With the mouth gone to
Sunnier climes, will the Sox
Be hung out to dry?

CLEVELAND INDIANS
“Is Grady injured?”
“Was there a Tuesday last week?”
Michael Brantley’s glad.

DETROIT TIGERS
27 games
Before Brandon Inge returns
To reclaim third base.

KANSAS CITY ROYALS
Those young hitters can’t
Overpower the smell of
Five pieces of meat.

MINNESOTA TWINS
Such a nice ballpark
And such nice people watching
Their nice, boring team.