Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Good-bye, Ozzie,
Good-bye, Ozzie,
Good-bye, Ozzie,
You’re going to leave us now.
Merrily you roll along,
Roll along,
Roll along,
Merrily you roll along
Down to F-L-A.
No more cursing,
No more tweeting,
No more bull#@*&,
You’re going to leave us now.
Let’s see how you do in Miami
Miami
Miami
Let’s see how you do in Miami
With non-existent fans.
Good-bye, Ozzie
Good-bye, Ozzie
Good-bye, Ozzie
Your act went on too long.
Rain pours down
drenching everything.
The season has ten days left.
Why does the fall always try us?
Why must you need to be brave?
If I stay still I will not wake you.
If only the rain would stop,
my thoughts would not try to drown it out
and we could both sleep.
Dream of baseball. Can I?
The Giants and Cardinals are making a late run.
They’re fighting for their lives…
their playoff lives.
“Fighting for their lives.”
Where we’re living,
That sounds so stupid now,
so totally stupid.
Salary caps,
Spending caps,
Baseball caps…
Caps the Mets couldn’t wear with their uniform,
Because they didn’t conform,
Or some crap.
Baseball’s image burned
As Bud Selig took a nap.
When Carlos Beltran came to the Bay,
He was supposed to hit SF’s troubles away.
Fans think his RBI count’s a disgrace,
But you can’t drive in runners
Who aren’t on base.
In 2008, Sabathia came,
And helped Milwaukee win the crown.
But he left that winter without a wave
When the Yankees laid the big money down.
Now in ’11 the Brewers soar
With a Prince playing out the end of his deal.
Will the market gap play out and drive him away?
How are the fans supposed to feel?