Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
If Albert Pujols is merely mortal,
Who will be our heroic portal?
You may chuckle, you may chortle–
But people need an idol.
No longer great, but merely good,
Ain’t hit like St. Lou thinks he should,
But if free agency comes–it could–
The wave of suitors? Tidal.
Players busted driving drunk,
Doo dah, doo dah!
Better that than shooting junk,
All the doo dah day!
Gonna drink all night!
Gonna play all day!
Bet my money on the one who’s bombed,
Throwin’ his career away!
.
Twenty-first birthday
and daughter’s a White Sox fan.
Booze might help that pain.
What Ho!
Ben Zo!
Two doubles…and a single…and a three-run blow!
Eight ribs?
No fibs!
Against a bunch of pitchers no one will ever know!
The White Sox must be the only act around
Who can spend $120 million
And not produce a hit
In Motown.