Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
To watch for years a losing team,
He’d root and hope and sometimes scream.
Alvin D and Junior G,
Edgar M and Gaylord P,
Til ’95–a magic dream!
Familiar things he’d shout and cry…
A grand salami, my oh my!
Seattle fans will miss his call,
This one’s sailing toward the wall…
Fly away, Dave. It’s gone. Goodbye.
Been an Astro for so long,
Got the gong,
Here’s your song:
Bye, bye, Berkman.
Master of the hard line drive,
You’re 35?
What’s that jive?
Bye, bye, Berkman.
When Ed Wade shipped your contract to the Yankees last July,
You didn’t know it wasn’t “come on back,” but just “goodbye.”
The hourglass is losing sand.
Will you land
In Japan?
Bye, bye, Berkman.
By Stuart Shea
Back in the summer the Jints made a trade
To bring in Jose Guillen.
Bad in the clubhouse, can’t play the field
That’s how people see ‘im.
Still it was shocking that he didn’t even
Once in the playoffs appear…
Now that we know someone’s reading his mail
The reason is much more clear.
By Stuart Shea
If Sandoval is “Kung Fu Panda,”
Can other nicknames be out of mind?
Tim Lincecum? How ’bout “Beanstalk Boy”?
Aaron Rowand? He’s “Left Behind.”
Brian Wilson’s “Fuzzy Wuzzy,”
Cody Ross–“October Blast!”
Aubrey Huff is already “Tough,”
And Andres Torres is “Fading Fast.”
Aubrey Huff,
No powder puff
Flat on his duff.
He has the stuff,
This Aubrey Huff.
“When times are tough,”
Says Aubrey Huff,
“I don’t get gruff.
I huff and puff.
“I’m pretty tough.
I’m Aubrey Huff!”
Posted 9/27/10