By Stuart Shea
A pitcher named Carlos Zambrano
Pitched the year rank as bat guano.
When asked why this was,
He replied, “It’s because
No one ever tells me ‘Te amo.'”
“And It’s Bye-Bye Baby”
By Stuart Shea and James Finn Garner
Though dead four decades, ol’ Russ Hodges
Still figures in Jints’ reportage.
He and his “bye-bye baby” call
Haven’t faded from baseball at all.
When Pablo, Burrell, or Uribe
Leaves the yard for a splash in the Bay
Kuiper yells “HE HITS IT OUTTA HERE”
And each Giant fan lets out a cheer.
At the end of all innings with dongs,
They play the “Bye-Bye Baby” song.
And a piece of Russ Hodges lives on,
Even though Bobby Thomson’s now gone.
Posted 9/21/10
Hopeless
By Stuart Shea
Every day a rollercoaster–
Hope, despair, hope, despair.
Why do I bother to care?!?
If we win and they lose, it’s six games back.
Let’s go, men!
Who’s that #54 in the pen?
Is he gonna use that guy AGAIN?
I can’t believe we dropped that ball
On the warning track.
Now we’ll be seven games back.
We have to win no matter what
To have a chance…
And make that upcoming four-game set
Mean something more
Than just fan appreciation weekend
Sponsored by the electronics store.
The Ballad of Nyjer Morgan
By Stuart Shea
Nyjer Morgan? What a jerk,
Putting catchers out of work.
Doesn’t get on base a lot,
Doesn’t use the speed he’s got.
Doesn’t understand the game,
Hasn’t got an ounce of shame,
Fighting with obnoxious fans,
Tossing baseballs in the stands.
The silver lining to this song?
He won’t be here for very long.
K KO
By Stuart Shea
If Roger goes to court,
It’ll be an unfamiliar sport,
Where there’s no way to throw inside
Or otherwise use horsehide.
Who will decide?
When Roger’s in the book,
How will all the numbers look?
Seven Cy Youngs should say it all,
But the Feds are gonna have a ball
About Winstrol.