Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
By Joe Moag
In the wake of Blackhawks glory
Here in June’s endemic swoon
The heart craves a better story
One where Cubs will shoot the moon!
But the standings tell no lies
And October fades from view
When hitters swat like flies
It’s time to seek a sport brand new
See, October was the goal
With World Series dreams at ready.
But now Niemi fills that role!
And I dream of June confetti!
Posted 7/1/10
By Joe Moag
Unto He!
Unto He, the new rookie,
He with an arm fit to hoist Zeus’ bolt,
Fit to slay our past; fit to redeem our degradations.
Unto He, our welcomed savior!
A reprieve from years of ill, from years of doubt,
From years of lowness.
Unto He, the Lifter!
Unto He, the Changer!
Unto He, the Future!
Unto He, Alleviator of this state
Of prolonged exile, of overdue vengeance,
Of our just and righteous payback!
Unto He we place this proof
That our faith, traveled across orphanage and dismissal,
Our Faith, that thing
Which steeled our resolve
To simply stay in the game long enough,
Has borne fruit! It has brought
Him, here, to Us.
No light as bright as this has ever shone, only to
Fall away in wreckage through the dimming of life’s cold onslaughts and hurly-burl!
Immortals don’t flinch, or suffer, or miss their mark – they shine!
Our wait itself is the toil and testament to the surety of this!
This Game and its Gods, who sit high and low,
Sworn sacred to the mischief in their souls
Could never be jealous enough
To make this foreseen future, this deserved fate,
Fall short.
Posted 6/27/10
By Joe Moag
Our summer game’s true grab
On people’s hearts and minds
Is that after taking crap at work
We turn on Channel 9.
As we finish up our dinners,
As we tuck our kids in bed;
As we plop down on the couch
To try and rest our addled heads;
Len and Bob jump on our screens
And hail the pending win:
“The Cubs are set for battle,
SO LET THE GAME BEGIN!”
By the third, Lee has struck out twice,
Ramirez popped to short;
Theriot has swung through three:
He’s allergic to the walk.
By the fifth our pitcher’s bothered–
After all, he’s done his best;
He’s let in only two runs
But that’s two more than he’ll get.
See Cubs hitters swear their oath
To swing at every pitch!
Regardless of location,
Regardless of “the sitch”!
Swing boys, SWING! is their new mantra
It’s something you can’t teach–
When the bat is flailing wildly
At a pitch that’s out of reach.
By the bottom of the ninth
After three are up and down,
Len and Bob say, “Join us
When tomorrow, ‘it’s back on!’”
Posted 6/23/10
By Stuart Shea
.
27 fish came up,
27 fish went down.
Baiting his hook with sinkers
Sliders, heat, and curves,
Halladay set down every fish
And he betrayed no nerves.
27 fish came up,
27 fish went down.
Snaring every one
And tossing them in his boat,
Halladay did a good day’s work
And earned a right to gloat.
27 fish came up,
27 fish went down.
Hunter, Koufax, Robertson,
Bunning, Wells, Buehrle,
Halladay is now in
Interesting company.
27 fish came up.
27 fish went down.
.
Posted 6/8/2010
By Joe Moag
Uproar in the press!
Lupica wants Selig to
Bend time…space…honor.
Override ump’s call?
This summer’s game ain’t perfect.
Not one for the books.
Posted 6/6/10