Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
By Stuart Shea
A-bopping and a-hopping in the outfield,
Stopping if a ball clanks off his glove,
Soriano just wants to play baseball,
Do his best with energy and love.
A-snorting and a-courting fan dissension,
Writers like to use their words like knives.
Every player’s error becomes legion.
Can’t sportswriters get some f*$(@* lives?
posted 4/25/10
By Stuart Shea
ANGELS
Rich Latino woos
White fans who usually hire
Latino workmen.
ATHLETICS
Moneyball’s sunset
Means the lineup now includes
Kevin Kouzmanoff.
MARINERS
Hey, Jack Z….that nut
That fell off the hitting tree?
He’s your problem now.
RANGERS
Sweet spring robins’ song
May sound suspiciously like
“Neftali Feliz.”
.
Posted 4/20/2010
By Stuart Shea
WHITE SOX
A Putz in the ‘pen,
Another in the dugout,
Not just birds Twitter.
.
INDIANS
No more wedge issues.
It’s time to see just how good
This ballclub can be.
.
TIGERS
A brand new springtime?
Whatchoo talkin’ bout, Willis?
This is your autumn.
.
ROYALS
Inevitable
As tulips and tree pollen,
95 losses.
.
TWINS
Mauer power is
Ensured for many more moons
In the new playpen.
Posted 4/11/2009
By Stuart Shea
ORIOLES
Thousands of tweeters
Will talk of Matt Wieters while
Driving their beaters.
.
RED SOX
The spring mist rises
From the humid Fens again…
Wait, that’s fan B.O.
.
YANKEES
Autumn nears for A-
Rod, Mo, Jeter, Posada,
And, yes, Randy Winn.
.
RAYS
A young rotation,
Some MVP candidates,
A tough division.
.
BLUE JAYS
The center fielder
Needs to break his fall this spring–
Then all will be Wells.
Posted 4/6/2010
By Stuart Shea
BRAVES
No Glavine. No Smoltz.
“Chipper” Jones no longer is.
Where has my youth gone?
.
MARLINS
If a ball club plays
In an empty stadium
Does anyone hear?
.
METS
A pleasant spring, but
No Reyes of sun for the Mets.
FBI? Thyroid?
.
PHILLIES
Is this an old team?
Well, 18 of them were born
Before Reagan’s years.
.
NATIONALS
As Strasbourg links France
and Germany, Steve Strasburg
spans Nats’ talent gap.
Posted 4/4/10