Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
By Stuart Shea
Maple bat, Maple bat
Shearing off in two-foot slats.
Spirals through the air, and splat–
Maple bat, Maple bat
Got that fan right in the lat,
Then on the bounce, took out a rat.
Maple bat, Maple bat
Nearly deadly as a gat,
Sharp enough to skin a cat.
Maple bat, Maple bat,
Time to wear a different hat.
Put these weapons in a vat.
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Posted 5/13/09
By Gary Gillette
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Patsy opponents,
U.S. ennui. Rising sun
Harbors hardball pearls.
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Gary Gillette is the executive editor and co-publisher of The Baseball Early Bird, among many other sports writing and research projects.
Posted 5/6/09
By Stuart Shea
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There will be no wrapup.
There will be no highlights.
There will be no lamplights or postgame beers;
After 39 years
The Phillies have laryngitis.
Does God give us life to spite us?
Or is it stupid to hold to our fear
Of eternal nothingness?
If even a voice like Harry’s can be silenced in the great hall of life and death,
Then what’s the use of taking another breath?
In memory of Harry Kalas (1936-2009)
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Posted 4/14/09.
By Gary Gillette
O! Hear me mighty
Bards of pastime poesy.
Spring spits in our face.
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Posted 4/7/09
By Stuart Shea
ANGELS
Without its K-Rod,
Sun-dappled Orange County
Prepares for a fight.
ATHLETICS
Green-and-gold adorned
Athletes play in stadia
Named for software.
RANGERS
In football country,
The titans of summer’s game
Proceed unnoticed.
MARINERS
Tho Junior returns,
Creaky knees and failing sight,
The M’s will blow chunks.
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Posted 4/3/09