By Stuart Shea
Charlton’s got nothing on Christopher Heston–
There’s one big thing that the ballplayer’s best in!
Charlton parted the Red Sea, left the Pharaoh bitter,
But he never threw a no-hitter.
A Warning to Hotshots
By Stuart Shea
If you want to take long trots
Around the bases,
Be ready to get fastballs
Up in your faces.
1945 Cubs Poem
by Dr. William A. Caro, M.D., E.C.F. (Eternal Cubs Fan)
I remember 1945, the Cubs were really alive.
We wanted their back; we had at third base Stan Hack.
They could win without a Beretta,
Because they had Phil Cavarretta.
The team was really in trim
With the direction of our Charlie Grimm.
His leadership harbored no folly,
And yet he was called “Jolly Cholly.”
The team was U.S. and not Tory,
And here was a star–Peanuts Lowrey.
They put on their caps, yelled, “Let’s go!”
And to center field ran Andy Pafko,
To bet on the games was light sin,
But not so light was Bill Nicholson.
Another came not from Wisconsin,
But he played second base: Don Johnson.
His arm could pitch a great throwie–
Of course we mean our Hank Borowy.
Another pitcher quite trim
Was quick-on-the-field Ray Prim.
Micky Livingston was a skilled catcher.
And many bad pitch he would snatch ‘er.
But Lenny Merullo at shortstop,
Many thought was a truly bad flop.
And so I close my Cubs story.
In telling it I seek no glory.
So let the chips fall where they may;
Wait, a foul, get out of the way!
Hiring (and Firing) From Within
by Stuart Shea
The Marlins hired a ‘suit’
To skipper their club–
And he’s as bright as a summer tanager.
But when his time runs out,
The angry fans will shout,
“Fire the Middle Manager!”
What To Do, Brew Crew?
By Stuart Shea
The team wasn’t good
Before Lucroy went down.
Then they fired the skipper
In hopes of a rebound.
But it’s all in vain,
It’s rebuild time again,
Let’s burn the whole thing to the ground.
Trade Garza, Segura,
Ramirez, and Lind,
And think about Braun,
If a deal’s in the wind.
But just don’t deal Scooter,
There ain’t no one cuter,
And as far as we know, he ain’t sinned.