Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
The series is over,
And I can’t stand the stench.
The Royals’ best option
Was nailed to the bench.
Sure, MadBum was great,
The best in a clench–
But Yost left his best pinch-hitter
Sitting on the bench.
Salvador Perez broke his knee,
Or at least gave it a wrench,
But Yost wouldn’t replace him
With someone from his bench.
Now Josh Willingham’s retiring,
Unlike Dame Judy Dench.
He ended his career
With his ass on the bench.
The Royals must be hoping
The answer to this quizzing.
Class – here’s a math curve ball.
Will the home team win it all?
Suppose it plays Game Seven
At home. What’s the percent, then?
The Royals may be singing
The answer to this quizzing.
You in the back – what did you say?
Eight out of ten teams win the day?
That’s 80% – and numbers don’t lie.
Maybe that’s the KC reason why
It must be smiling
During pop quizzing.
By Stuart Shea
A Baseball Fan’s Heaven–
World Series Game Seven.
So Let’s Turn it Up to Eleven!
Matheny hoped for damage control
As each reliever dug a hole.
Choate was awful, Maness ehh,
Rosenthal wild, Martinez bleh.
Who is left to call on, then?
Wacha’s down there, in the pen…
He hasn’t pitched for several weeks,
But nothing’s left that doesn’t leak.
See one problem, cause another–
That’s how bullpens work, my brother.
How to fix this bullpen bleed?
Get a bigger lead.
Poor C.J. Wilson.
It’s now a matter of “What if…”
After his bad outing,
It’s the Angels’ OFF-season of the whiff.