by Joyce Heiser
Twenty-first birthday
and daughter’s a White Sox fan.
Booze might help that pain.
Eject Button Pusher?
by Hilary Barta
For Ozzie Guillen:
With umps he will fight for a hitter,
or scream that a pitch was a spitter.
He’ll argue the calls,
that strikes should be balls,
but his tweets have the league all a-twitter.
Hilary Barta’s pop-cult limerick blog, Limerwrecks, is a mandatory daily requirement.
Ozzie U R 2 Much! LOL!
by James Finn Garner
When Ozzie G. twitters a tweet,
He lands his ass in the hot seat.
With a quick 4G link,
He reveals in a wink
That his mouth can hold more than both feet.
The Last of Lastings Milledge
by James Finn Garner
Consider the case of Lastings Milledge,
Career on the wane and prospects pillaged.
So many chances, not one of them clicked.
Now playing Triple A out in the sticks.
How cruelly ironic to have that first name,
Success was so fleeting throughout his game.
Drafted and signed with ado and aplomb,
but the years and the game rolled crushingly on.
To what sort of player can you really relate:
The superstars, scrubs — or should-have-been-greats?
Paging Berry Gordy
By Stuart Shea
The White Sox must be the only act around
Who can spend $120 million
And not produce a hit
In Motown.