Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
By Stuart Shea
Yes, you heard right!
Underachieving major league ballplayers
Available for pennies on the dollar!
Hoot and holler
And make your way
To 35th and Shields today!
Visit Kenny Williams’ close-out old-sock sale!
Don’t wait for a flyer in the mail
Because this offer only lasts til
All the talent is gone,
Or September 30, whichever comes first.
.
Posted 9/8/2009
Stu’s new book, Pink Floyd FAQ, is available now!
by James Finn Garner
.
Ken Williams wasn’t skeevy
About getting Jake Peavy.
Though he’s got a bum ankle
And his record should rankle,
He’ll spare us the terrors
Of Jose Contreras.
Published 8/11/09
by James Finn Garner
.
Scottie Pods, Scottie Pods,
What were the chances?
Oh, what were the odds?
Cut by the Rockies because you’re too old–
Your step getting heavy, your bat growing cold–
The Pale Hose invite you back into the fold
And you climb your way back like the grinder of old.
Fans love a player still hungry and bold
Who refuses to note for whom the bell’s tolled.
In the hot summer night, the scoreboard explodes
As you dig hard to mine one more season of gold.
Scottie Pods, Scottie Pods,
What were the chances?
Oh, what were the odds?
.
Posted 8/6/2009
by James Finn Garner
Seven and
Twenty men
Set down in
Succession.
A brilliant
Feat, made of
Equal parts
Skill, luck, and
DeWayne Wise.
Posted 7/29/2009
by Sid Yiddish
Legend has it, that in Chicago there are two winning baseball teams.
Ha!
I’d like to believe that one, although the die-hard fans would argue this point for days, weeks, months and years, but I just don’t have time to listen to all the ups & downs, the theories, the conspiracies and all those “what ifs.”
What if the Cubs won the World Series?
What if the White Sox won another World Series within three years?
What if baseball fans in this town rooted for another team altogether and just gave up on the Cubs and White Sox?
What if by some miraculous circumstance, the Cubs and White Sox found some leadership, corralled all of their players together, organized a mentoring program for those of them, not in-the-know and brought them into the fold of knowing and understanding what the game of baseball in Chicago means to fans like me?
Now, that’s a new legacy I could believe in.
Published 7/15/09