Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Big Klu and his guns struck fear
Into opponents both far and near.
His sleeves were ripped out, swung the bat with great clout,
The Mighty Big Klu was he.
His biceps were frightening, indeed.
He caused the old hardball to bleed.
No doubt he was big, he also was tough,
The Mighty Big Klu was he.
His muscles were au naturel,
Unlike DeRosa and Sosa, et al.
No steroids or juice, just nature unloosed–
The Mighty Big Klu was he!
Posted 8/21/2007
By Stu Shea
Sox lose,
More blues.
‘pen sucks,
Big bucks.
Old team,
Fans scream.
Fire Ken,
Start again.
Oz stays,
He’s crazed.
Goose Gossage,
Goose Gossage,
You are your own Bossage,
You have your own mitt that you sign and Embossage.
Goose Gossage,
Goose Gossage,
You always will Flossage,
Your round rolling stone will ne’er gather no Mossage.
Goose Gossage,
Goose Gossage,
You boot up with DOSsage,
You always predict the results of coin Tossage.
Goose Gossage,
Goose Gossage,
Your car drives with Nossage,
And you play like you dance, like the winged Bob Fossage.
(Sandy’s site, with his comedy teammates: Schadenfreude.net)
Posted 8/3/07
by James Finn Garner
When Kenny Williams told Maggs
To pack up his bags,
Hinting grit wasn’t one of his talents,
Kenny hadn’t the notion
That he’d set in motion
An era of Motown Magg-nificence.
Magglio got maligned
but later was signed
By Tiger whiz David Dombrowski.
Now he’s hitting like Gehrig,
While the White Sox are staring
over their shoulders, worried ’bout Kansas City.
Posted 7/25/07
Biceps like well-tempered iron,
Frightening to see,
Was Ted Kluszewski.
No shirtsleeves wore he,
Did Ted Kluszewski.
And if you asked him why, he’d
Grind you into loose tea.
In his day he was feared,
The toughest man on the Ponderosa.
But today his muscles are matched
By Sammy Sosa
And Mark DeRosa.