by James Finn Garner
I don’t think the new analytics
Would’ve helped Norm Cash worth a lick
For Killebrew, Mantle,
F. Robby and Randle,
A beer and a cig did the trick.
This Year’s Departures
by James Finn Garner
The season is done, the jocks are stored
Only two teams are left on the board
Let’s pause now, while for Friday we wait,
And salute the retirements of a few greats.
Pujols hit his 700th for the Cards
And now will have time to work on his yard.
Bosox and Cubs champ Jon Lester
Now is an official hammock tester.
Music lover Kurt Suzuki
Can learn the banjo or bouzouki
After the majors, Ádrian González played on
But after this year, A-Gon done gone.
Melky Cabrera, the man and the myth,
Will star in community theater: “The Melkman Cometh.”
And if anyone’s looking for J.A. Happ,
He’s out on the patio, taking a nap.
Bad Teacher
by Fred Lovato
Stuck in online class
more concerned about Game 5
thankful for delay
Impact
by Michael Ceraolo
Herb Score
No tragedy here,
just one of those unfortunate incidents
that are sometimes part of the game:
Gil’s line drive didn’t end my career,
though I was out for the rest of the season;
it was arm trouble that did me in
And if I hadn’t been a player
I never would have become a broadcaster
I have to thank Bob Neal,
my first broadcast partner;
he never made me look bad
while I was learning on the job,
and I had a steep learning curve
Gil McDougald
I’m glad Herb doesn’t blame me;
I couldn’t have continued if he did,
or if that had ended his career
I think it did affect me;
I wasn’t as good a hitter afterward
A few years later I heard rumors
the Yankees were going to leave me unprotected
in the upcoming expansion draft,
so I said I would retire
rather than go to another teams
Yankee management feared this was a threat
to their absolute control and said so publicly
I think they were greatly surprised
when I stayed retired
Waiting for Comeuppance
by James Finn Garner
In the Midwest we’re not prone to bragging
We like socks with sandals and double-bagging
We like a 30-pack and jerky from Kasey’s
And are still suspicious of Macy’s.
We don’t get too big for our britches
Unless the subject is hot dishes.
We take our time reaching decisions
And are in no rush to win the division.
