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The Biogenesis All-Star Squad

By Stuart Shea

Bartolo Colon,
Big and round,
Is on the mound.

Francisco Cervelli,
A-Rod’s teammate,
Is behind the plate.

Jesus Montero
Will suit up at first,
Though his bat is the worst.

Jhonny Peralta
Has a bat to be reckoned,
And we’ll move him to second.

To play at short,
The Padres’ rara,
Everth Cabrera.

At third base, of course,
With broken-down bod,
A-Rod.

Fernando Martinez
Is playing left field,
With a .240 yield.

Melky Cabrera
Will hold down center–
He’s just a renter.

Nelson Cruz
Is out there in right…
At least for tonight.

 

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Joaquin: A Fine Line

by James Finn Garner

Dear knowledgeable fans of Detroit:
Your powers I’d like to exploit.
With your linguistic skills so adroit,
Can you tell us how to pronounce Benoit?

 

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Halfway-Point Haiku

by D. Bruce Brown

AL East
Boston
A nation believes
That their guys can win it all
History says no

Tampa
Fighting a drab park
Evan isn’t an All-Star?
Our starters will shine

Baltimore
Is Davis for real?
His weight room feats are unreal
The bullpen will tell

New York
An EMT’s dream
But Girardi knows winning
How is Cano’s knee?

Toronto
Can we go from first
To last in the same season?
The rest must collapse

AL West
Oakland
Cespedes homers
Billy Beane is a genius
Damn!  Who ARE these guys?

Texas
So very close twice
Making believers of fans
If only Nolan could pitch

Los Angeles (AoA)
Tons of star power
Swept at home by the Astros
What is going on?

Seattle
In obscurity
They perform for loyal fans
Wait!  Ichiro’s where?

Houston
Switching leagues might help
Two thousand and five was great
But so long ago

AL Central
Detroit
Pitching’s no problem
The best hitter in baseball
These cats have a bite!

Cleveland
Once given for dead
With lectures from Chris Perez
Francona’s now boss

Kansas City
AL’s small market
Yet they have players to watch
Brett’s in the dugout

Minnesota
Trying to build stars
Is hard when your DH is Plouffe
Mauer can still hit

Chicago
South Siders are glum
Sale should have been MVP
Git up!  Git up!  Stretch!

D. Bruce Brown has posted daily trivia questions for Horsehide Trivia since 1997.  He is also the president of the Bob Davids chapter of SABR.

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Let Me State Our Position Loud and Clerihew (All-Star Edition)

by James Finn Garner

Michael Cuddyer
Might hit the ball higher
On the moon, which has thinner air
Than Denvair.

Dustin Pedroia
Suffers from paranoia.
Though he doesn’t dislike him,
He’s sure the base runner wants to spike him.

Yoenis Cespedes
Doesn’t need us.
He keeps his cool by hitting homers
And ignoring racist tweets from gomers.

Miguel Cabrera
At the plate is a terra.
He’ll win a second Triple Crown
With his mates in Motown.

 

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Some Clerihews for the Tigers’ Starting Rotation

by James Finn Garner

Justin Verlander
On the mound don’t meander.
He comes from Old Virginny
And his fastball isn’t finny.

Max Scherzer
While pitching couldn’t be terzer.
Blue eye or brown
He’ll mow your lineup down.

Sanchez (Anibal)
Might be a cannibal
The way he feasts on the gray matter
Of batters.

Doug Fister
Will get a blister
If he don’t lay off of all
Those fireballs.

 

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