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Rain Delays the Pain

by Hilary Barta

The hard-stuff was raining in Texas
Said the Tigers, “Their fastballs just wrecked us.”
.    Both bullpens were great
.    but Feliz got three straight:
His pitching was all about Xs

Cruz Control

The trouble with loading the bases
is for runners you’ve run out of places
.    And go extra innings
.    your woe’s just beginning,
’cause brother, you’ve run out of aces

A walk or a homer — you choose
A ball or a strike — they both lose
.    The bases are loaded,
.    your bullpen’s eroded,
and tall at the plate: Nelson Cruz

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Motor City Madness

by Millie Bovich

The Tigers broke out of the zoo
And pummeled the team “You know who”
.    With our hitters on tap
.    And our pitchers with zap
They out-Yankee-ed the Yankees, Yahoo!

A contributor from Bardball’s rookie year, Millie Bovich has been a devoted fan of the Detroit Tigers for  eight decades.

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Post-Season Prediction Doggerel

by James Finn Garner

All the network media dorks
Sing the praises of New York

They hate visiting places strange
Like Motown and the Texas Range

They’d rather crawl through Gotham sewers
Than watch the Snakes or Rays or Brewers.

They’re happy as a dog with bone
To stay in th’ Eastern Time Zone.

But Yankees pitching ain’t worth a lick.
The Phillies are my pick, in six.

 

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The Bookkeepers Talk Baseball

by Jim Daniels

Betsy says a friend of hers
went to high school with Kirk Gibson
and that he was stuck up even then.

Debbie says Frank is taking her
to one of those things
where they play two games in one day.
What’s it called, a double bubble?
She makes a face: I can hardly stand one game
much less two.

Jack, the burly security guard says
it’s too damn boring. Everybody
standing around picking their asses.

I sit at my desk
flipping through accounts, pulling overdrafts.
My ass squirms in padded comfort
longing for the bleacher’s hard bench.

Arnold says he likes it better
on tv. Why go to the ballpark,
he asks, and deal with the traffic
and the crowds?

Better on tv?
Get yer red hots heah!
Coke! Iiiiiiice Cooooold Coke!
Crack of bat on ball. Smell
of stale cigars and spilled beer.
Seventh inning stretch.
Cold beer in the sun.

Cold beer in the sun.
I bang my seat
to start up a rally.

Jim Daniels is the Thomas Stockham Baker Professor of English at Carnegie Mellon University.  His newest story collection, TRIGGER MAN: More Tales of the Motor City, is now available, and can be ordered from Amazon here.