Baseball Cards #1

by Jim Daniels

One
of the 10,342 baseball cards in my parents’ attic
sneezes in the dampness, remembers
sweaty hands.

He calls to me across hundreds of miles:

Remember me, Jake Wood, 1964, 2nd base, Detroit Tigers,
Series 2, No. 272?

He wants to stretch his legs, climb out
from between Wilbur Wood and the 4th Series Checklist
wants to outsail all the other cards
in a game of farthies, float down
on Jose Tartabull in a game of tops.
He wants to smell like fresh from the pack
wants to be perfumed again
with the pink smell of bubble gum.

.

Jim Daniels is the Thomas Stockham Baker Professor of English at Carnegie Mellon University, where he has taught creative writing for 30 years.

Wockenfussy

by Patrick Dubuque

‘Twas octval, and the pravish thrim
Did glate and glibble in the grome
All woolsy were the vitrenim
As the tegris wrast bethrome.

“Beware the Wockenfuss, my son!
The glove that claws, the cleats that slash!
Beware the corn-can-cut, and shun
The pronvistle mustache!”

He took the vorpal orb in hand:
Seeking with nails the laven stitch
And scrying he the fingers three
He gathered up to pitch.

A sinewed serpent’s coil, it stood
The Wockenfuss, with legs askew
It wiffled and glaved the winding wood
And ellipsed, as he threw.

One, two! And three! No contact he
The knuckleball went snicker-snack!
It spun in place, and in disgrace
It went galumphing back.

“Thou hast slain the Wockenfuss?
Hand me the sphere, my roogish gent.
Callooh! Callay! That’s all today.”
And to the showers he went.

‘Twas octval, and the pravish thrim
Did glate and gliddle in the grome
All woolsy were the vetrinem
As the tegris wrast bethrome.

Patrick Dubuque writes the blog The Playful Utopia.

AL Central 2011 Haiku Predictions

By Stuart Shea

CHICAGO WHITE SOX
Will Morel mushroom
into a good third baseman
Or just become waste?

CLEVELAND INDIANS
Um…Jack Hannanan?
In the lineup? At third base?
It’s not April 1.

DETROIT TIGERS
The Tigers, a team
of 25 question marks.
A growl? A meow?

KANSAS CITY ROYALS
Ending up with Jeff
Francoeur…that’s a real bad day
At the rummage sale.

MINNESOTA TWINS
If he keeps winning,
Carl Pavano can look like
A porn star all year.

Sparky Anderson

by James Finn Garner

The snowy hair
The doleful stare
The mangled speech
The subtle preach
The dubious start
The gentle heart
The hook that stings
Three Series rings
The postgame pipe
The misplaced hype
Shaggy dog stories
Humble glories
A light gone dark
We’ll miss you, Spark

“Enough!” He Said and Left in a…Huff

By Stuart Shea and James Finn Garner

Aubrey Huff,
No powder puff
Flat on his duff.

He has the stuff,
This Aubrey Huff.

“When times are tough,”
Says Aubrey Huff,
“I don’t get gruff.
I huff and puff.

“I’m pretty tough.
I’m Aubrey Huff!”

Posted 9/27/10