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Pork Haiku #1

By Gary Gillette

In honor of broadcaster Mario Impemba who, during the April 12 Tigers broadcast, talked about how Royals skipper Trey Hillman had managed the “Ham Fighters”…

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Nippon Ham Fighters!
WTF? Americans
Fear Pugnacious Pork.

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Posted 4/29/10

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American League Central 2010 Haiku Forecasts

By Stuart Shea

WHITE SOX
A Putz in the ‘pen,
Another in the dugout,
Not just birds Twitter.
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INDIANS
No more wedge issues.
It’s time to see just how good
This ballclub can be.
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TIGERS
A brand new springtime?
Whatchoo talkin’ bout, Willis?
This is your autumn.
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ROYALS
Inevitable
As tulips and tree pollen,
95 losses.
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TWINS
Mauer power is
Ensured for many more moons
In the new playpen.

Posted 4/11/2009

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Twins Persistence

by James Finn Garner

No matter how many times they’re whacked,

Those pesky Twins keep coming back.

 

Like a dose of clap on your wedding day,

Those lousy Twins won’t stay away.

 

Like a yappy dog or a Ringling clown,

Those stinking Twins won’t lay down.

 

In another division, I’d admire their pluck,

But as a Tiger and Sox fan, it looks like I’m stuck

 

Watching them ruthlessly turning their tricks

Like a mad masked killer in a teen slasher flick.

 

Like a zombie army or Ted Williams’ head,

Those #$%@!!  Twins just won’t stay dead.

Posted 10/5/2009

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Tiger, er … Twins Fan

by Mike Galer

The Tigers play so poorly no one complains.
Twins are so good.
My son starts cheering for Twins.
Knows all the players by name.

His love of Minnesota grows to Gophers and Vikings.
The years go by in a flash.
We smile and chuckle and a rivalry is born.
Detroit can’t win, I am forlorn.

My wife plans a trip to the Mall and 10,000 lakes.
On a whim I buy tickets to a game, for heaven sakes.
We go to the dome, it is 97o outside.
Tigers are winning, only I am cheering.

In the eighth Bonderman unravels.
My son turns to me and says, “This was the greatest of travels,”
“The time of my life,” he says with a smile.
I’ve done something right at least this day.

The Tigers lose on cue to make it complete.
Fans are cheering, I stay in my seat.
As an added bonus, kids run the bases.
My wife chortles, “I’m going too!” as she tightens her laces.

We record the day in film and snapshots,
Walk to the subway, eat ice cream with dots.
A few years have passed and the memories are mine,
When Minnesota beat Detroit was just fine.

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Posted 10/2/2009